Answering God's Call

" Now when Jesus heard that John had been arrested, He withdrew to Galilee. He left Nazareth and made His home in Capernaum by the sea.   .  . As He walked by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And He said to them, ' Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.' Immediately, they left their nets and followed Him. As He went from there, He saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee, and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and He called them. Immediately, they left the boat and their father, and followed Him." [ Matthew 4: 18-23].

The first several times I read this story of Jesus calling upon His disciples to follow Him, I loved the fact that these men were simple fishermen. But I thought that this story must be a myth, because who exactly would drop everything, even leaving nets in the water, and one's father behind, and go follow a man of uncertain purpose and authority?

The Bible is full of stories of men and women being called by God. Must they all be so holy as to drop everything when God calls, and to do absolutely anything He asks?

In the Old Testament, Abraham represents a shining example of faithful response to God's call.  In Genesis 12, The Lord calls Abraham to ," Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing." And what does Abraham do? Genesis 12:4-5 says, " So Abraham went, as The Lord had told him."  Abraham is 75 years old when the call comes! He leaves with his wife Sarai, his nephew and all their possessions.

In 1 Samuel 3, The Lord calls to Samuel. Samuel  cries out, " Here I am, Lord!"

For me, it is not that simple.

Remember Moses in Exodus 3?  In this Scripture, he witnesses the burning bush, that is ablaze but never burns away. Moses comes closer, out of curiosity.

In re-reading Exodus 3, I have to conclude:  I am a " Moses", not an Abraham.

The growth of my Faith as an adult began with curiosity. I once met an older lady, a friend of a friend. This older lady was simply dressed, an ordinary older lady, whom you could easily overlook. But even though her hair was gray and her clothes not especially stylish and her face bore some wrinkles, she positively glowed. I asked her what her secret was? She said that she knew The Lord. I said to myself,  'Whatever she has, I want some of that!'

The Lord's magnetism begins with the ordinary. An ordinary older woman. An ordinary bush, that burns but is never is consumed.

Once God gets our attention, He begins a conversation. For the fishermen, He sent His Son. They immediately responded.

Some of us take a lot more convincing.

Let me tell you, my friends, I have used just about every single objection that Moses used-- and this was even before I read Genesis 3-7!

In a time of great personal crisis, I began receiving more and more insistent calls to convert, and to renew my Faith in The Lord.

At first, I wanted to run away, or hide my face. Moses did this, and it did not work!  When I tried to hide, a priest told me," You can run, but you cannot hide!"

Then, Moses said, " Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring my people out of Egypt?" I tried this objection, too. I told the pastor, " I am a Nobody."  But the priest told me, " The disciples were only fishermen. Jesus was only a carpenter. Mary was only a young peasant girl, probably illiterate."

Next, Moses said to The Lord," Who ARE you?"  God replies, " I am Who I am." I have asked this question myself. Even Moses does not get any more detailed explanation than that.

So finally, after many months, I did what I thought was the impossible: I converted!

But God wanted more, it seems. After my conversion,  it came upon my heart to begin writing this blog. Most of my life, I had kept my Faith deep inside me. In my non- believing family, my Faith was unacceptable. How could I ever dare speak it -- let alone to the world?

Even worse, in my abusive childhood home, I had stopped speaking when I was ten.  Was not my uncertainty of speech a sure reason to avoid speaking out about my Faith?

Moses himself says, " O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past, nor even now; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."  But God says to Moses, " Who gives speech to mortals?  Is it not I, The Lord?"

Finally,  Moses tells God," O, my Lord, please send someone else!" Haven't we all been there?!

Then, God says, " I will be with your mouth, and will teach you what to do".

And, FINALLY, Moses accepts God's call. Moses goes on to become one of God's greatest servants -- EVER!

O,  Lord, WHO am I, that You should call me? I am No One. WHO are You in my life that You would even notice me? I want to hide from You still,  but your call is so insistent! I stopped speaking for years as a child. And yet, you are using me to speak to the World!

May Your Grace bring to my lips Your Sacred Word. May Your Words fly to the hearts of all in the world who long to hear Your gentle voice.

Lord, here I am! May I be Your faithful servant.

[ Related Posting: " Here I am, Lord!", January 15, 1012; " Fishers of Men", January 21, 2012.]

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