The Kingdom of Heaven

" Jesus said to His disciples, ' The kingdom of  Heaven is like a net thrown in the sea, which collects fish of every kind. When it is full, they haul it ashore and sit down to put what is good into buckets. What is bad, they throw away. Thus it will be at the end of the age. The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous and throw [the wicked] into the fiery furnace.' "  -- [Matthew 13: 44-52.]

There is an old expression, "Separating the wheat from the chaff."  This saying goes back to Matthew 13: 24-43, when Jesus offers the parable of the wheat sower. The sower tells his workers to let the weeds grow along with the wheat; otherwise, at the early stages, they might pull out the good with the bad. At harvest time, the weeds should be collected for burning, but the wheat will be harvested.

It is a very popular past-time these days, to judge others immediately, in the moment. Most of the nightly news depends upon dire warnings regarding the "chaff" of our society. Celebrity magazines and websites deliver gossip about the mis-doings of famous people.

We desire to play God, pronouncing others' end-of-time sentences. We loudly proclaim, ' THIS one is certainly not going to a Good Place, because of this-or-that one criminal act, alone.'  As if we could ever know how their lives would play out until the end?

A pastor once said to me that we Christians ought not judge others' misdeeds. We ought to be horrified at sentences like the death penalty, because that type of Final Solution permanently preempts any future possibility of redemption. For that reason, as well, we must never sentence the pre-born to death, for who knows what sort of impact that baby could have over its entire lifetime?

I can think of more than a few examples like that. Perhaps you have heard of the story of John Newton, an Englishman who served in the Royal Navy, and following that, became a slave trader.  During a violent storm at sea, he cried out to God to save him. This was his dramatic Conversion. He later became an ordained minister; and thereafter, he wrote the beloved Hymn, 'Amazing Grace'.

I don't know how you feel, but I would want God to grant me every chance in life to become a better, more loving and peaceful person. I would not want Him to cut me down at the knees for my youthful mistakes. I would want God to be patient, as I fall down and pick myself up, over and over again, as I walk in my spiritual journey towards my ultimate goal of The Kingdom of Heaven.

I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, in my spiritual walk. . . .

I grew up in a family with no Faith. They did give me the amazing gift of making sure that I was baptized and that I received my First Communion. But as soon as I was Confirmed in the church, we stopped going to church. My faith life was put on hold.

I struggled mightily with my Faith in my teens. I made  the youthful mistake of being tempted by my parents' anti-Christian rhetoric. I started to think, 'Perhaps, there is no God.'

After I left home, I tried to bargain with God. I said, "Well, I have no proof there IS a God."  I even took to saying to friends, "When you are young like I am, everything goes pretty well, so I don't NEED God."

But, as a result of the harsh upbringing I underwent as a child, I was in fact carrying with me everywhere, a dark fear and a deep angst. It did not occur to me that these traumatic effects were wounds that God could heal. I was considering only human consolation; and so far, all the humans in my life had failed me.

These rejections of God came more from fear and ignorance, than from lack of Faith. But I was too afraid of my family's retribution, if I were to openly display any interest in God.

When I went away to university, I was too timid to reach out to others.  Most of the time, I was all too aware of how frail and incapable I was of healing myself. So, like many teens, I sometimes tried alcohol, as a means of consolation. But all I ended up with the next day was a headache, and the same problems.

Then, I decided that the key to everything was to earn all A's in school, so I could graduate, earn the most money and become independent of anyone trying to control me or abuse me. So, here I was, back to the same place again, saying that I did not need God, and that the only one I could rely on was myself.

You can see all the mistakes that I made-- lured by lies about Christians, half-believing that there was no God, bargaining with God, trying to self-soothe with temporary fixes, relying solely on myself but
remaining filled with fear and anxiety.

I was an incomplete Christian.  I would not have wanted God to judge me, or say that I would never amount to anything, or label me "Bad", or throw me in the fire. Even after all the many stages I had traversed, the lure of lies, the half-truths, the temporary fixes, etc. -- I was still only in my twenties.

Besides, I needed rescuing, not judging. I was young, foolish, desperate, unloved, in despair.

And, God did rescue me! He answered my calls when I was in life and death situations. He sent my husband to my side, who is Catholic and who has always believed so much in my potential. He gave me a son to love and to raise in His name.

The fact is, even though I was seldom aware of it at first, God was dealing with me all along, sending wise and loving Christians into my path, sending right impulses and desires to know Him better.

I started my journey towards God with baby steps. I started attending church with my husband. I was given a Bible by a dear friend. I started looking things up in Scripture. I was brave enough to join a knitting group at my church.

I spoke to my pastor who advised me to talk to God, as if He were my best friend-- because He IS. Then, I took a bolder step and joined a Bible Study Group.

I had been the timid child who stopped speaking at age ten, because I no longer believed in the Love of humanity. But in these encouraging groups, I started speaking again. I attended Bible groups, and meetings at my church, and a women's prayer group.

Then, I began writing my blog. In this space, I am speaking to the world! This is truly a miracle I never thought possible.

I have learned never to judge anyone too early. I thank God, that He waited for me so patiently, for so very many decades.

 We are all in a different place in our own spiritual journey. We all need time for God to deal with us in His own way, in His own time. We deserve as long as God gives us, to find our spiritual Redemption, before our final days.

Give yourself some time. Give others enough time. We all struggle with our Faith, but with God's Grace, and an open heart, we all have the seeds to grow in Faith.

[Related Posting: "The Bountiful Seed", July 14, 2014; "Solemnity of Peter and Paul", June 30, 2014].

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2014. All Rights Reserved.