Walking The Walk

" After He had fed the people, Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds. After doing so, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray. Meanwhile, the boat [with the disciples] already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, He came toward them, walking on the sea.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified. ' It is a ghost', they said, and they cried out in fear. At once, Jesus spoke to them, 'Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.'  Peter said to Him in reply, 'Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.' He said, 'Come.' Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when He saw how strong the wind was, he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, 'Lord, save me! ' Immediately, Jesus stretched out His hand and caught Peter and said to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt? ' After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did Him homage, saying, 'Truly, You are the Son of God.'  " -- [Matthew 14: 22-33.]


Today, if someone says: " He thinks that he walks on water", it is a criticism that the person has a big ego, so big that he has a "God-complex", or a "Jesus" complex.

Today, we may see inspirational posters in corporate offices, exhorting the work force to "get out of the boat"; or "leave the harbor", because only with risk comes financial reward.

But these contemporary examples are twisted versions of the Christian sense of leaving the boat.

In many ways, this Scripture of Matthew is a primer on How To Become A Christian.

First, Christians eat together, as a community.  In this gospel of Matthew, Jesus feeds the crowd with only five loaves and two fish. Today, this ritual of being fed by Jesus has become the Eucharist.  Eating together----How simple. How beautiful. How tender and elemental.

Next, like Jesus, we spend time in retreat, talking with God. This is our Prayer Life. How deep. How satisfying. How personal.

Then, we may ask, 'Are You really the personification of God?  Prove it.' This is our Doubt.

And then, Jesus says, 'Okay, then get out of the boat.'  How awesome!  How spectacular! HOW terrifying!!!!!

Being Christian entails much more than showing up for Communion and talking to God. Being Christian means taking a risk.

 Being Christian means putting ourselves "out there", out of the safer confines of the boat.

For me to be out in the open----out of the boat---- has meant taking many small steps, over time.

When I was a tiny girl, my parents had me baptized. Then, they made sure that I received my First Communion and was Confirmed. Immediately after my Confirmation, we abruptly stopped attending church. This put me on shaky ground with my Faith. Was I supposed to believe in God? Or, my parents?

It has taken me decades to "get out of the boat."

As a teen, I asked to still attend church. I guess you could call that putting my toe in the water. The answer was firmly, 'No'.  Then, I had to figure out if I still believed, when my family apparently did not. I waffled.

It took me a lot longer to decide to wear a gold cross. At first, I wore it only when not with my family. Even when I was brave enough to wear it, I wore it under my shirt.

After I met my Catholic husband-to-be, I took to wearing the cross openly.

Then, I began to attend church again. His Catholic Church. I re-learned how to say The Our Father. I learned to say the Hail Mary. I was praying again, remembering others in my Intentions.

 Then, I became engaged to be married. To the Catholic man whom I loved. My parents said, 'We did not raise you this way.'

We got married with a Catholic priest attending and saying his blessings. This was an even bigger risk. My parents refused to stand in the receiving line at my wedding.

My husband and I got our first apartment. My parents refused to give me any of the furniture stored in their attic. They said, 'You are part of HIS family now.' Now painful. Was I fully out of the boat now? Had I risked enough?

It turns out that so far, I had not risked much.

 Because as I would walk home from the train station to our apartment, I began to notice a homeless man, weighted down with layers of shirts, pants and coats. He had scraggly hair, a scruffy beard and haunting eyes. Day after day, I ignored him. Was I afraid? Was I hoping that someone else would take the risk to say hello, or help him? Here must be where the fear and doubt about one's Faith creep in--- in that place where we meet the desperate gaze of another human being, and we want to look away.

One winter day, I could no longer stand to ignore this man. His beard and hair were totally covered with snow, from the blizzard that day.  I thought to myself, 'What would I need, if I were in that circumstance?"

I  told him, 'You must be so cold.' I asked him if I could buy him a cup of coffee? He answered me with a flicker of the eyes. The flicker of  recognition, that maybe he was no longer so invisible. I asked him if he took cream and sugar? He nodded. I asked him if he would like something to eat?  A blink of disbelief.

I ran into a corner store. When I came back out, he was waiting for me on the corner. I handed him a steaming-hot cup of coffee and a roll with butter. I could see the softening of his eyes. He had encountered my Faith. he had encountered my open heart.

Finally, at that moment, I had disembarked fully from the boat.

I may not have been literally walking on water.  But I felt  like I was floating inches above the ground. It was almost as if three people were present in that moment--
this humble man, Jesus --- and me. .  .

Love is like that. Love elevates you. Love brings you out of yourself.

Love releases your Faith. In stepping out of the boat, you are suspended in time. And if you falter, you fear, you doubt, you question yourself, Jesus is right there to hold you up. And to urge you to do this again. And again.

I dare to Love.

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2014. All Rights Reserved.