This Ends With Me

"On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, 'Peace be with you.' When He had said this, he showed them His hands and His side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, 'Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.' He breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.' " -[John 20: 19-22].



In this Scripture, the disciples are overjoyed to see Jesus again. But, even though Jesus displays to them His bloody hands and side, He says, 'Peace be with you.'

How can there be any Peace, when the disciples see that Jesus' wounds are all too real? Where is their Peace, when Jesus says to them, 'So, I send you' ---when, there are persecutors waiting to crucify them, too?

I have to say that personally, Holy Week is gut-wrenching to me. I really cannot handle my emotions,
as an angry crowd yells, 'Crucify Him!'; as Pilate hands Jesus over to the mob; as the crowd torments Jesus, allowing Him to be flogged and mocked, as "King of the Jews." To say that all this "hurts my feelings" is a gross understatement.

I used to think that there was something wrong with me for feeling so overwhelmed. But, my Bible School instructor says, 'How can we not be moved, and even transformed, by Jesus' Crucifixion?'

I am beginning to see that this is what God wanted to happen to my soul, all along.

The changes can begin slowly-- such as, I have a very hard time watching violent movies. I also certainly hate the greed and materialism in Western culture. The fixation on money seems so pointless and sad, when you think of the message sent by Jesus' Crucifixion. And I certainly cannot ever watch any terrorist videos.

But it goes far beyond what kind of culture we consume. If we allow Jesus' death FOR us to really seep into our souls, His radical Love begins to change who we are and how we live.

I remember many years ago now, when I suffered violence at the hands of a stranger. I was in my twenties, so young. The attacker had a knife. Swiftly, I was down on the ground before I knew it. The man wielded the knife and lay it across my neck.

My mind raced. I knew that I had to get that knife away from my neck. I wrestled with the attacker. Amazingly, I was able to grab the knife from him!

I had only a few seconds to think, since the guy was scrambling to take the knife out of my hand again. I thought back to my graduate school classes in the law. This would be self-defense, if I slashed at him with the knife, right? I almost had to laugh at myself: who had time for legal arguments at a time like this?!

Next I thought, I would have to really disable the guy with the knife, or he would come back at me. I would have to stab him hard.

When it came right down to it, I realized that I would not be able to stab the guy. It had nothing to do with my physical strength. What I was facing was no less than another human being, created by God. An awfully disturbed human being, who wanted to do me harm. But-- I had this horrifying vision of spilling his blood. What would happen if I did to HIM, what he had planned to do to ME? Would I become him?

So, I somehow freed my arm enough to throw the knife away from me. I thought that the guy would  try to retrieve the knife, giving me time to escape. I thought wrong. The guy forgot all about the knife and began physically attacking me.

I could see that I was getting nowhere on my own with this. So I prayed to God to save me. Suddenly, the guy ceased attacking me! He asked for valuables. Then, he left.

I suppose that the world would say that I was a coward? I would call myself a Christian. If Christians take the Crucifixion of Jesus seriously, we say that He died for US. That means that His death was meant as a final repudiation of evil.

In essence, whatever was done to Jesus-- false witnesses, power-mongering, charges that were really lies, torment, mocking, whipping, and the agony of His death -- Jesus proclaimed by His very Resurrection:  'All of THAT ends with Me!'

Recently in Biblical School, our instructor told us the story of the movie, "Kitty: Return to Auschwitz". In this story, Kitty remembers her time in the concentration  camp at Auschwitz. Once released, she found herself holed up in a village basement with some Germans. In her pocket, she had hidden away a sword, that she had stolen from some Nazi SS in the camps. All of the hatred and anger that she bore against the Germans bubbled to the surface. She found herself contemplating using the sword to kill the Germans. But, she froze. She realized that if she took this opportunity to kill the Germans, then she would be no different than the Nazis who had done such evil to her.

When Jesus was crucified in sacrifice for us, He told His disciples, "As the Father sent me, so I send you." That means Jesus sends ME. And YOU. . . to proclaim the ultimate sacrifice against evil.

So I ask myself, if Jesus' death means so much to me, am I willing to live by the maxim, that evil stops, not just with Jesus, but with ME?

[Related Postings: "Thou Shalt Not Kill", March 10, 2011].

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