Monday, February 22, 2016

Transfigured



" Jesus took Peter, John and James and went up to the mountaintop to pray. While He was praying, His face changed in appearance and His clothing became dazzling white.  And behold, two men were conversing with Him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of His exodus that He was going to accomplish in Jerusalem. Peter and his companions had been overcome by sleep, but becoming fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men standing with Him.
As they were about to part from Him, Peter said to Jesus, 'Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.'  But, he did not know what he was saying. While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud. Then, from the cloud came a voice that said, 'This is my Chosen Son; listen to Him.' " --[Luke 9:28B-36].


 Jesus' Transfiguration occurs early on in His ministry-- after His Baptism, after forty days in the desert, after Jesus' preaching and is rejection in His home-town of Nazareth, after choosing His disciples, and after beginning His ministry, to go about "throughout the villages, bringing the good news and curing diseases everywhere." --[Luke 9: 6].

As Jesus begins His ministry, the people begin asking, 'WHO does He think He IS?' And God answers from a cloud: " This is my Chosen Son. Listen to Him."

Peter's first response--- to build three tents on the mountaintop, for Moses, Elijah and Jesus --- brings all of them back to the Festival of the Tabernacles from the Old Testament. This feast-- also known as the Festival of Booths-- involves building temporary huts to recall the Israelites' exodus from Egypt, their tented existence, and their wandering in the desert for forty years.

But, those tents are a regression, back to the time when the Israelites feared that they would never have any permanent land, never have enough to eat, and never reconnect with the God who, they feared, had forgotten them.

When I think of those huts, I think of my years growing up. During my traumatic childhood, I gradually withdrew. First, to protect myself I stopped showing my emotions. Then, I stopped feeling any emotions; then I barely slept, staying hyper -vigilant night and day. I either hid in my room, or fled outdoors. Finally, I stopped speaking.

You could say that I put myself in exile. In my dangerous world in that house, it was better to feel nothing, see nothing, eat nothing, say nothing. In the end, it was like I was living in a dark, muffled cave.

As a child, I thought that I would be safe that way. But although I was surviving, I was not at all living. It was like being buried alive. I had become a shadow, a ghost.

As I became an adult and left my childhood home, I began to loosen the self-imposed restrictions. I would eat enough, speak enough, sleep enough, feel enough, go out into the world enough, to survive. But I was far from thriving.

I would eat sparingly, because having been fed inconsistently as a child, I still had that exile mentality that maybe I should save some food for tomorrow.

I would sleep sparingly, going to sleep only after my husband and son were asleep. I was still back in that Exodus time when it was safer to stay awake and keep watch. But, I had left that desert long ago.

I would speak only enough to get along at work, at home, in the market. But I would never fully reveal myself, because I was still afraid of the reaction if I showed my most vulnerable self.

Theologians and preachers have long said that we must "lose our slave mentality." No, I would never say that we are slaves by our own fault!

But, how often do we adults live, with that child of trauma inside of us calling all the shots, when we have been out of exile for so very long?

We eat as if there will be no food tomorrow. We sleep as if the enemy is still threatening us at the end of our beds. We speak as if the Truth, uttered boldly, will only get us bruised and battered again.

For the longest time, as an adult, I was fully aware that the stone in front of my cave had been rolled away, and that the Light shone upon me like brilliant daylight in the darkest night. But, I was too afraid to come out!

And so, Peter's first response--- to huddle inside flimsy huts, as if  he were still in the Exile of yore. When God comes out from the cloud and announces His presence, Peter reacts with fear.

I am working hard now, to emerge from my "cave". It is not easy. I have to tell myself that I am in a time of plenty, not deprivation. I go to sleep praying, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep." I can be safe in my bed. I am in community with my church friends, where I speak God's Truth, the Truth that will set you free.

When times get rocky, the first thing that I want to do is to retreat. It is good to retreat, reflect and pray. Jesus did this all the time.

But, there is a retreat; and then, there is exile and fear. Jesus did not remain in the dry desert forever, battling demons. Nor did He remain tented on the mountaintop, basking in the glory of His Father. He emerged from His desert and His mountain and He walked among the people.

In His first preaching in Nazareth, Jesus said: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed." -[Luke 4:9].

This Scripture resonates with meaning for me. It is as if Jesus is speaking to ME. He is setting me free. . . .

He can set you free, too!

[Related Postings: "Transfiguration", Mar. 20, 2011; "Transfiguration of Christ", Mar. 5, 2012; "My Transformation", Feb. 24, 2013; "Transforming Hope", Mar. 3, 2015].

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