Rejoice !!

"Brothers and sisters: Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophetic utterances. Test everything; retain what is good. Refrain from every kind of evil." --[1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24].

It is the Christmas season. For my Jewish friends, it is Hanukkah. It is the season of Light, shining in the darkness.

And yet, where is the Joy?

We keep our heads down always working, obsessively checking for emails and texts, fearful of missing something important; going about our days fully, cognizant of the world's serious problems -- violence, racism, sexism, the threat of war, poverty, hunger, damaging storms, political corruption.

Often I wonder how St. Paul can possibly urge us to "Rejoice always" ?

There was a time when I awoke each morning and recited a litany of my woes to the mirror. I looked at my own image gazing back to me, and almost pitied myself- - I looked pale, exhausted and depressed.

In some ways, I had every right to be depressed. I had had a childhood full of trauma. I had just managed to escape that miserable existence when I got married, set up household -- and discovered how hard life can be.

My husband was -- and is -- my constant joy and comfort. But I forgot that, as I dwelled upon all that was going wrong. To accept a new job, a promotion, we had to move several states away. We had to sell our house at a loss. Then we could afford only a small apartment in our new town. My husband could not find a new job in our area for quite some time. We were reduced to one salary. We had to delay our dream to start a family. Then my husband's mother died. Then, my husband was diagnosed with some health problems. Then, our cat died.

Every day when I faced the mirror, I recited, "No house, no job for my husband, no baby, no cat."

One day, my husband overheard me and told me, "How about reciting what we DO have?"

Ouch! But he was right.

I had come close to dying, during my traumatic years, so many times. But, I am alive!

I went hungry a lot during my childhood. But I have food.

I had no friends as a child. I have many friends now.

My husband had to look long and hard to find a new job. But thank God I had a job and could support us both.

Rejoice always. Somehow even at my darkest moments, I can find something to rejoice over and be thankful for.

Giving thanks IS "God's will for us." God wants us to find something, no matter how small, to be thankful for. Maybe a sunny day. Perhaps that, despite the fact that my chronic lung disease was so inconsistently treated when I was a child--  I am breathing today!

This does not mean to be unrealistic about Life. Everything is NOT wonderful. Given my traumatic past, I do test everything. I do not trust easily. But I am supposed to test things -- to throw away what is Evil and to embrace what is good.

As for not "quenching the Spirit",  I keep trying to reach for the Fruits of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Sometimes I don't trust enough to love others or to accept love from anyone else. Sometimes, my Joy fades away. Sometimes, I feel no Peace, only anguish and despair. Sometimes, I cannot reach out and be kind, I just want to retreat and wall myself up. Sometimes, I am irritated and difficult. Sometimes, my Faith is sorely tested. Sometimes, my anger gets the better of me. I vent loudly, and my emotions spin out wildly.

Here is where I take a deep breath, take some time to withdraw, and quietly pray. I have a lot of barriers keeping me from the Fruits of the Spirit. For some period of time, I despair, I retreat, I doubt, I rage, I vent, I lose my Peace.

I know I cannot win this battle alone. I have to pray. I need to "borrow" God's strength. I am too wounded to succeed in this by myself.

But if I allow the despair, the anger, the doubt, the isolation to ultimately win out, then the Dark Side wins.

And that simply cannot be!

[Related Posting: "Where is Your Joy?", 3/30/13]

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2017. All Rights Reserved.