To Speak Anew

"People brought to Jesus a deaf man who had a speech impediment and begged Him to lay His hand on him. He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put a finger into the man's ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then He looked up to Heaven and groaned, and said to him, 'Be opened.' And immediately, the man's ears were opened, and his speech impediment removed, and he spoke plainly . . .The [people] were exceedingly astonished and they said, 'He has done all things well. He makes the deaf to hear and the mute speak.' "-[ Mark 7: 31-37].


I grew up in a house that was highly dysfunctional - alcoholism, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, bitterness, jealousy, greed, blackmail. . .

Even at a young age, I decided no one was going to protect me or meet my needs, so I would have to accomplish this myself. When I was five, when my father would say, "Do not feed her, I would eat a gluttonous meal in the school cafeteria, or I would find food at the neighbor's house.

At five, if my mother said, "You are five, you are not tired", I would put myself down for a nap.

I got tired of running and crying to my mother about all the taunting and abuse. She told me, "If you don't react, you won't gain attention and the taunting will stop."

It became my responsibility to defend myself. No human being was going to do it.

Thereafter, I would not show any feelings when the abuse started up again. When nothing got any better, I became afraid that if someone could even "see" my feelings inside of me, the abuse would renew. So when I was 8, I numbed my feelings.

By age ten, I had stopped speaking. I had become invisible.

Walking softly, showing no emotion, not speaking, I was certain, would eliminate me as a target. I also stayed up at night until everyone in the house was asleep.

My vow of silence was not a speech impediment. Nor was it a holy vow. My Silence was borne out of fear of being noticed. My Silence was also borne out of despair that any human being could love me or protect me.

My Silence lasted several years. I rarely spoke and if I did, I was annoyed at myself for "slipping up".

The power in this Scripture is that Jesus, through His Love, notices the Invisible. Not only does He notice them, He makes them Visible again.

And He loves them. He does not blame them for their afflictions. He does not judge them for being poor, disabled, desperate and alone.

This is a far cry from Jesus' world then, or our world today, where too often, Power speaks loudest.

I can tell you that no mere human intervention saved me. Teachers were alarmed and told my mother that something was seriously wrong. My mother dismissed them, saying, "She is just quiet."

No compliments from teachers or parents made me blossom. A volunteer in the school library once told me, "You have a beautiful smile. You ought to smile more." I thought- She has no idea what it is like to be me.

It took meeting the man who would become my husband to reach me. My pastor a few years ago told me that God works through others here on Earth to show us His Love.

It is a miracle that I would be open enough to receive this man's Love. Something blossomed inside of me. I slowly began to trust again.

A friend of my mother's told me at my wedding that she had never seen me so happy. I had truly blossomed and become a vibrant young woman.

The words I spoke to my husband were words of Love. And God IS Love.

Yes, God DOES "make the mute to speak". -[Mark 7: 37].

"Thus says the Lord: Say to those whose hearts are frightened: Be strong, fear not! Here is your God, He comes with vindication; with divine recompense He comes to save you. Then the tongue of the mute will SING." -[Isaiah 35: 4-7A].

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