" The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest awhile.' People were coming and going in great numbers and they had no opportunity to even eat. So they went off in a boat by themselves to a deserted place. People saw them leaving and many came to know about it.They hastened there on foot. . . When Jesus disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things."[Mark 6: 30-34].
It is summer. Time to go away and leave the world behind a bit. Time to visit with family. Time to stay up and watch the stars come out and the moon rise above the horizon. To sleep in for a few hours the next morning, or to take a nap. To go swimming and feel the soft waves lap against one's shoulders.
What strikes me in this Reading is that even Jesus needs to get away to rest. So who are we to think that we can keep going and going?
How often our days are such a blur, that we realize that it is already 3:00 and we have not even eaten today?
I confess that sometimes, I am sort of addicted to this busy-ness. I get anxious if I am sitting alone, doing nothing. As a general rule, I regard sitting quietly as "purposeless behavior", and therefore, a waste of time.
I remember several years ago, when I was working full time, and I was on vacation, out of the country. I was supposed to retrieve voice mail by calling a 1-800 number. When I found out that the 1-800 number did not work outside of the United States, I was elated! I thought, 'Wow! I am really getting away with something here!' This joy --that I was actually having a vacation totally free of office worries-- was tinged with guilt. My boss had warned me to stay connected at all times. With this 1-800 number in my wallet, I could not enjoy my vacation, with an open and relaxed heart-- and truly leave my responsibilities behind.
It is summer. Time to go away and leave the world behind a bit. Time to visit with family. Time to stay up and watch the stars come out and the moon rise above the horizon. To sleep in for a few hours the next morning, or to take a nap. To go swimming and feel the soft waves lap against one's shoulders.
What strikes me in this Reading is that even Jesus needs to get away to rest. So who are we to think that we can keep going and going?
How often our days are such a blur, that we realize that it is already 3:00 and we have not even eaten today?
I confess that sometimes, I am sort of addicted to this busy-ness. I get anxious if I am sitting alone, doing nothing. As a general rule, I regard sitting quietly as "purposeless behavior", and therefore, a waste of time.
I remember several years ago, when I was working full time, and I was on vacation, out of the country. I was supposed to retrieve voice mail by calling a 1-800 number. When I found out that the 1-800 number did not work outside of the United States, I was elated! I thought, 'Wow! I am really getting away with something here!' This joy --that I was actually having a vacation totally free of office worries-- was tinged with guilt. My boss had warned me to stay connected at all times. With this 1-800 number in my wallet, I could not enjoy my vacation, with an open and relaxed heart-- and truly leave my responsibilities behind.
Even though I am not working in an office any longer, I still struggle with leaving everything behind, and "going away to a deseted place to rest." I have had many such stressful vacations in recent years.
In early summer 2006, my best girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer. She was scheduled for intense treatment precisely during the time when I would be away with my family. I hated to leave her and her young family behind. She would need me. I raced around for a month beforehand, compiling lists of people willing to offer help. I still felt guilty going away to rest.
In the spring of 2007, my dad died abruptly. That left me to care for my frail mother. Once again, I almost did not want to go away. I hated to leave my mother, even though she was in assisted living, and other relatives were around to look in on her.
In the spring of 2008, my best girlfriend died. Once again, I felt guilty being away. I wanted so badly to be around, for her husband and her kids.
In the spring of 2009, my mother died. I had so much to do to clear out her place and settle her affairs. I left for vacation feeling overwhelmed, and guilty about all that I had to do.
In 2009, my father-in-law's wife had also died. Since he was now alone, I hated to go on vacation-- even though he had neighbors who did so much for him and other family who would be visiting.
In 2010, my nephew landed in Intensive Care from an awful accident, right before we were scheduled to go on vacation. I constantly checked my e-mail and voicemail for word on his condition. I hated to be on vacation while he was in such bad shape.
Why are we not able to get off of the world for awhile and rest? Do we believe that we are so indispensible? Is it ego? Do we really think that the world will end if we go away for a short time? Or is it fear?
Someday, I am going to learn how to turn off the laptop, the tablet, the smartphone, the landline, the television. I am going to go away to a deserted place, and I am not going to beat myself up over being on vacation.
I tell myself that if I am not healthy and rested, then I am no good to myself or to anyone else. I cannot serve God, or my loved ones if I am strung out and anxious.
The hardest part in being a Christian is knowing when to love and serve; and when to go away and rest. It is NOT true that to be a good Christian, we need systematically harm ourselves in service of others, until it hurts and we can no longer stand! This is not what God expects from us.
Jesus struggles with this too. Jesus knows, that at times, He needs to eat and to rest, away from the crowds. He knows when to return, out of compassion, when the flock has no shepherd to guide them. Loving others sometimes means sacrifice, sometimes means taking a well deserved rest.
Jesus struggles with this too. Jesus knows, that at times, He needs to eat and to rest, away from the crowds. He knows when to return, out of compassion, when the flock has no shepherd to guide them. Loving others sometimes means sacrifice, sometimes means taking a well deserved rest.
Jesus, like You, I pray that I will know when to love and serve; and when to go to a deserted place and rest.
[Related posting: "Summer!", June 22, 2011]
(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2012. All Rights Reserved.
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