The Fig Tree

" Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and it shoots come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, . . . Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." [Mark 13: 28-31].

As I grew up, I gradually learned to trust less and less. I learned that a mother's kindness could turn to cruelty in an instant. I learned that a sibling could play nicely for some time, then turn the neighborhood children against me; or call me ugly and hit me with no provocation. I learned that a father, who seemed remote at some times, could be dangerously close at others.

I learned to attend to my physical needs. I put myself down for naps, I found food if no one made sure I had enough to eat for dinner or breakfast. I saved earnings from odd jobs at age 13, so I could have enough funds to escape my life in that house.

Whether you have had a loving and easy life, or a cruel and harsh life: it can be very hard to trust.

I love this image of the little fig tree! This is an image to hold onto, that beautifully explains our Faith. There is a trust aspect to our Faith that is compelling and quite necessary. 

I have had many times in my life where I refused to trust in anyone, or anything. I stopped speaking as a child. I put a lot of effort into being invisible. I shut down. Not speaking, not sleeping, barely eating, not allowing myself to feel anything.

But, what kind of life does one have, if one becomes a shell of a human being?

And so, I say, No! It cannot be true that life means trusting or having faith --in No One, or No Thing. If this were so, you would not get out of bed in the morning. Where would be the purpose in your life?

I have had to learn to trust. I cannot even say that I had to "re-learn to trust", because I never learned to trust in the first place.

Where to begin?

A gentle priest once told me, 'You start small.'

You ask yourself: Do you trust that the sun will come up tomorrow?

Do you trust that if you go to pick up your child after school, he will come out of the building, looking for you?

Do you trust that your spouse will come home for dinner?

Do you trust that, following a long, cold, dark winter, the little fig tree will send up pale green shoots that turn into full leaves, that bear sweet fruit?

The metaphor of the fig tree is perfect, because now I can understand that, just because I do not see the fruit in the winter, the seed was planted a long time ago, and the spring will come and with it, the fruit.

And if I can believe in the sweet figs that I cannot see in winter, is it too big of a leap of Faith to believe in God? I cannot see Him directly, but I can see His signs everywhere: in the beautiful sunrise, in my son's smile, in the loving companionship of my husband, in the fruits of my life.

I have endured a long, harsh, cold, lonely winter. But gradually, I trust more because as I look around, I see evidence of God's Love everywhere in my life. The seeds were planted a long time ago, but spring is coming, and I shall bear much fruit.

Like the fig tree, my Faith grows, because, even if Heaven and earth were to pass away, God, with His Loving Word, will always remain, and His fruits will be abundant.


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