Lazarus and The Rich Man

" Jesus said to the Pharisees, 'There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen, reclined upon an ivory bed, and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man's table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out,  ' Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.'
Abraham replied, ' My child, remember you received what was good during your lifetime, while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.' He said, 'Then I beg you, father, send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.' But Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets. Let them listen to them.' He said, 'Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.' Then Abraham said, ' If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neigher will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.'"   [ Luke 16: 19-31.]

I grew up in a family that had nice clothes, plenty of food and a beautiful home.

And yet, when I went far away, to the university where they sent me, to study what they dictated that I study, they abandoned me in a time of dire need.

This happened at a time when I was in my early twenties. I was living in university housing. One day, around midday, a knock came at my door. It was a man with a weapon, intent upon robbing me and doing me harm.

I almost died, that day, at the hands of the attacker. The policeman, who came to my apartment after the man had fled, said that I had only about 30 seconds to a minute longer to live when I begged for mercy and the man stopped his assault. Miraculously, I was allowed to live.

In the aftermath, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was bruised, and my face and jaw were so swollen, I did not recognize myself. How awfully real this all became, when I caught sight of myself in a mirror. Like Lazarus, I was wounded. For weeks, I avoided mirrors, out of fear of what I would see.

And yet, when I told my family what had happened, they repeated to me 'The Rules': "Stay in school, or you will be a failure."

Back home, my family "dined sumptuously". After the attack, it was painful for me to get out of bed. I could not make myself meals, for weeks thereafter.

My family wore nice clothes. I was so battered, I could barely dress myself.

My family rested easily in their beds, feeling secure at night. I was extremely fearful of falling asleep, and even when I did, I was awakened each night by terrifying nightmares.

At first reading, this Scripture seems a bit unfair. Why should the rich man, who lives so comfortably, help a beggar whom he does not even know?

Ah. . . . but, the rich man DID know Lazarus by name! In fact, the rich man called out to Abraham, saying " Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue."

It pains me deeply that my family knew my name, as well; and yet, they left me to suffer like Lazarus. Not only that, they knew my favorite colors, my favorite foods, my favorite kind of music, and so on. They knew me in a deeply personal way, but they showed me no mercy or compassion.

It has occurred to me more than once, that the man who attacked me showed more mercy to me, than my own family did. After all, the attacker did respond to my cries for mercy. He allowed me to live. But, at my family's hands, I died a little more each day.

One day, in my university apartment, I cried out to God. I could not fathom the deep chasm between myself and my family. How had we come to this point, that my family and I were so far apart that they could leave me wounded and alone? I prayed, not for healing, not for strength; but for Wisdom.

That chasm that I felt is spoken of in this Scripture. It is a great chasm that prevents "anyone from crossing, who might wish to go" from one side to the other, or back.

At that point, I needed my family more than ever. Could anything bridge that chasm between us?

At the moment that the attacker left my apartment, I forgave him.  I cannot even explain this. In secular terms, I would be called crazy to forgive a man who had done this to me. Somehow, by God's Grace, I told myself that the attacker was sick and needed help. Otherwise, who would do this kind of thing to a complete stranger?

The road to forgiving my family has been harder. It is easier to walk away from someone you do not know. It is easier to forgive someone who does not even know your name.

But when the question is whether to forgive someone who knows all about you, that seems impossible.

I once asked my pastor if anything was "unforgiveable" He paused and said, "Um. No."  After all, Jesus, the Son of God, never hated even those who crucified Him.

What I have reached for over and over is the Mercy that I would have wanted for myself.

Recently, Pope Francis has been criticized for coming out in favor of Love and Mercy, before church rules.

In a sense, it was fanatical devotion to Rules that left me abandoned in a far away city, after I was almost killed. And it was blindness to Love that left me alone and terrified. Yes, I needed to get my education, but not when I was so injured, I could barely stand up.

After many years, I gradually came to forgive my family for abandoning me. For, "they knew not what they did." I came to give them the Mercy they did not give me, because I do not want to make their mistakes. I do not want to become merciless in return.

Sometimes when we are poor, lonely and abandoned, Mercy and Love are all that we have. Because it is Mercy and Forgiveness that bridges that chasm, and leaves us feeling far less alone. For, it is Mercy and Forgiveness that lead us to God. 

[Related posting, " Prayer For Wisdom", July 23, 2011].

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