Straddling Two Lives

"Whoever loves his life, loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me." -[John 12: 10-33].


It has been said that, all of our lives, we straddle this life and the next Life. We have one foot firmly planted in our everyday world. We have one foot pointed towards our Life after we die.

In John's Gospel, the author uses the sense of "the world", as the world lived in the flesh and in the midst of Evil. In John 7:7, Jesus says to his brothers, "The world hates me, because I testify against it, that its works are evil."

Paul says something similar: "Now the works of the flesh are obvious: impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, coursing, and things like these."- [Galatians 5: 19-20].  These are the things of the world. Paul makes clear that these things are diametrically opposed to the Kingdom of God.

And yet, we are all born into this world, as gritty and cruel as it can be; and we must navigate the negative and destructive things all around us.

Sometimes, it can all be too much to bear. A friend once heard someone talking about Heaven, that is, the Kingdom of God. We were musing about what a perfect place Heaven must be. She called out, "Ready? Are you ready to go?"

We both laughed. But, actually, no I am NOT ready.

This life on earth is filled with good and bad. These diametrically opposite states of being can shift in an instant.

My entire life has been like that:

When I was three, there was a fire in my grandparents' house. I had stood in the driveway of my parents' home, sobbing. I did not want to even get in the car to go over to my grandparents' home. I hated the acrid smell of the smoke and the black soot on the walls. But, I was grateful that my grandparents were alive and unharmed.

When I was four, I nearly drowned in my neighbor's pool. But, I was comforted down to my very heart, that my mother's strong arms pulled me out. I was coughing and gasping when I was lifted up. But I had not drowned. No, I was alive!

When I was seven, I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disease. I hated how my body shook and my ribs ached after a night spent coughing. But I loved my grandmother for ensuring that I took my cough medicine. I loved how she popped a candy in my mouth after the medicine, to take away the bitter taste.

When I was ten, my beloved grandfather died. He was my only loving force, in a family who refused to say, 'I love you.' In a family where a sibling called me ugly and hit me. And then, my parents told me, "You are too sensitive." But, I loved how safe and happy I felt all those times as a little girl, when I climbed into my grandfather's lap! I hated how my grandfather called and called for me as he lay dying in the hospital-- and I was not allowed in to see him. But I love how being told of his repeatedly calling my name, reassured me of his unconditional love.

On and on, this dance of the good and the bad has gone in my life--

In graduate school, I was the victim of a violent crime. I almost died that day, but my parents did not allow me to come home and recover. I hate how they abandoned me. But I love how my classmates tenderly took care of me.

After school, I met my husband. I hated how my family would not stand in the receiving line at our wedding. To this day, I fear that it is because he is Catholic. But I loved my husband from the day we met, and I love him deeply, still. His love has healed and transformed me!

There are times that I fall into despair, and I say that I hate my life. But what I am really saying is that I hate all the tragic events, the strife, and the evil against me. I hate that these have ever happened to me. But on many levels, that is okay! We are supposed to hate evil, strife, jealousy, divisive factions, anger, violence, etc.

You notice in all of my stories- whether bad things happened to me because of accident or willfully bad behavior -- it was Love that saved me!

The deacon who teaches my Biblical School class says that our Love for one another is a glimpse, in the present, into what Eternal Life will be.

I know this is true, because Jesus said, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - [John 3:14]

Now, instead of hating my life, I live by this command-- "This is my commandment, [Jesus said], that you love one another as I have loved you."

The world can be an ugly place. I choose Love.

[Related Posting: "Hating This Life",  March 25, 2012;  "New Year, New World, January 1, 2015; "The Desert", Feb. 25, 2105.]

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