We Walk By Faith

" On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, 'They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don't know where they put Him.' So Peter and the other disciple ran faster that Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the Scripture that He had to rise from the dead." -- [John 20: 1-9].

In the stories of Jesus' life, we encounter His disciples, who follow Jesus over many miles and years. But, yet, who do not fully understand what He is about, even until the very end, when Jesus is crucified -- and then disappears, only to rise in three days, as He had promised.

As I have embraced my Christianity, there is perhaps no one more surprised than I am, at how foggy-brained and incredulous and mystified His disciples were!

When Jesus calms a storm that suddenly sweeps the lake, Jesus says to His disciples, "Where is your Faith?" The disciples are "afraid and amazed, and say to one another, "Who then IS this, that He commands even the winds and the water and they obey Him?"

Jesus foretells His death many times in front of the disciples, but "they did not understand this saying;  . . . and they could not perceive it. And they were afraid to ask Him about this saying." - [Luke 9:46].

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays with a sorrowful heart.  In this dark moment, the disciples fall asleep! Jesus says to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting?! Enough! The hour has come." -[Mark 14: 41].

Although we can almost laugh at how clueless the disciples appear, in a way, their state of confusion is enormously comforting to me. . . .

I have made so many youthful mistakes and undergone so many misperceptions in my Faith walk over the years!

My parents stopped allowing me to go to church when I was 14.  I was told, "We don't do that any longer."  In my child's logic, I had this monumental assumption that if someone takes church away, then they can take your Faith away. It was not until decades later that I found out that God is Love, and that our desire for God is imprinted upon the human heart! And, that is a gift that no one can steal from you.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a profound experience of the Presence of God. This was a Presence that filled the room, and then spilled over and out into the world, into infiniteness. This was the strongest, yet most peaceful Presence that I had ever felt. At the time, I was so anxious and stressed, I dismissed this as something akin to a hallucination! Here was God tapping on my shoulder and I didn't even recognize Him!

I finally did begin to attend church again. Week after week, I heard that Jesus died for us. These were beautiful words, but they made no practical sense to me. Why did God's only Son have to die--- for ME?! [Similarly, a former pastor at my church says he used to fantasize that Jesus could simply have walked down from the Cross!] Week after week, I read in church:  "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through me."

Then, one horrible day, my best friend died of cancer. My only comfort was that I could hope to see her again in Heaven. Then, at her son's Rite of First Communion, it hit me like a lightning bolt!- It was possible to see my friend again in Heaven, ONLY because Jesus had gone there first, FOR US!

Our walk in Faith is a gradual one. I used to blame myself for all the things I could not see. But as Paul said, "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man I did away with childish things.  . . For now I see in a mirror dimly, . . . now I know in part, but then [in my next life], I will know fully." - [1 Corinthians 13:11-12].

When I look at the disciples and at how they lived life WITH Jesus, but only slowly came to fathom what had truly happened-- I say that there is hope for the rest of us!

Now, I see my walk in Faith as like the unfolding of a beautiful flower. One gorgeous petal at a time, the sacred Truths gradually become clearer to me!

"We walk by faith, and not by sight;
No gracious words we hear
of Him who spoke as none e'er spoke,
but we believe Him near.

Help, then O Lord, our unbelief,
and may our Faith abound;
to call on You when You are near,
and seek where You are found.

Then, when our life of Faith is done
in realms of clearer light
We may behold you as you are
in full and endless sight."

Hymn: Alford & Wilson

[Related Postings: " Roll Away the Stone", April 17, 2014; "Easter Redemption", April 7, 2012; "Easter Joy!", April 23, 2011.]

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