He Calls Me Friend

" Jesus said to His disciples, 'As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. I have told you this, so that my joy may be complete in you and your joy might be complete. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you. This I command you: Love one another.' " -- [John 15: 9-17].


When I was growing up, I had no one.

Yes, I lived with my mother, father and brother.

But my brother called me ugly every day. He rounded up the kids in the neighborhood to taunt me as well. He was not my friend. He made sure that I had no other friends. He booby-trapped my room with raw eggs, and cups of water perched precariously. He laughed at me if I tripped off those traps.

I would go to my mother in desperation. I would tell her, "Please, make him stop!" My mother would always say, "You are too sensitive". My mother was not my ally. she did not defend me from these assaults.

My father took his anger out on me. If I would not eat the days'  old food put in front of me to eat, he would tell my mother, "Do NOT cook her anything else. Do NOT feed her!" My father was not my ally.

I shut down against the world in those days. I was not going to let anyone in. In about third grade, my teacher noticed that I had no little friend to walk with, to Recess or to Art class. She assigned me a friend.

I was somewhat ashamed that the teacher had to assign me a friend. But, oh how wonderful it was! I could easily walk or bike to Louise's house.  Her mom helped us make candy apples in the fall. She let us make a total mess in the kitchen, baking cookies. She let me play dress-up with her old prom dress. Usually, I ended up putting the dress on backwards. She pointed that out gently, but let me wear it that way anyway. I felt like a princess!

Still, the lack of love and kindness has taken its toll. I am prone to anxiety, and periods of deep darkness. I let others say hello first. I don't trust easily. I get hyper-vigiliant in groups. I can panic in crowds. I believe that I am at least insignificant, if not fairly invisible.

And yet, everyone needs a friend! We all long for love, for kindness, a hug, a gentle word, an ally to defend us, a special someone to share our joys with!

If we do not have any loving human contact- simply put- we die! Something in me died, in that harsh environment. It is extremely difficult to revive those dead parts of the soul.

WHO would wish to live without human contact? And yet, in our virtual- reality world, increasingly, we do!

Teens and children today use their thumbs to "communicate". One study, that required college students to give up their cell phones for a week, resulted in the participants reporting feelings of anxiety and even fear. They did not know how to approach another person to talk. If the other person said something upsetting or emotional, the student did not know how to react. The students reported that they did not know how to contend with free-flowing conversations.

Young children today in the U.S. are being placed in support groups, in order to learn how to make a friend and to be a friend. What used to happen naturally, in the neighborhood and at the playground, has to be intentionally taught.

Young adults today are being medicated, at unprecedented levels, with anti-anxiety and anti- depressant drugs. Too many students who arrive at college, have a laptop, a dorm room, a syllabus -- and a therapist.

In this Scripture from John, Jesus assumes that everyone knows what it means to be a friend. To have a friend. What it means to love.

It was shocking, at the time, for God's Son to call His disciples, "Friend"-- as if we and Jesus could EVER be equal.

Today, it is amazing to call anyone, "Friend"-- at all. Our lives are structured. Scripted. Maniacally busy. Friends? No one has any time. It can take me 6 months to find a date for when another woman and I can get together for coffee. For one hour. . . .

In John 15, Jesus practically begs to be His disciples' friend. He commands us, "Love one another." He talks about complete joy, simply from remaining in His Love. Do we even remember what Joy is?

Before we ask, 'Why are our churches empty?', we need to ask the real question. We need to ask, 'Where is the human interaction? AND, where is the Love?'

Because, if we cannot call anyone, "Friend", then how can we even get to Jesus?

[Related posting, "Where Is Your Joy", March 30, 2013; "What is This Joy?", October 1, 2014.]

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2015. All Rights Reserved.