The Storm

"Leaving the crowd, the disciples took Jesus with them in the boat just as He was. And other boats were with Him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke Him and said to Him, 'Teacher, do You not care if we are perishing?' He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, 'Quiet! Be still!' The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then, He asked them, 'Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have Faith?' They were filled with great awe and said to one another, 'Who is this whom even wind and sea obey?' " --[Mark 4: 34-41].


This weekend is Father's Day.

I think of my own father, gone for several years now. I was always impressed at how hard he worked. He rose at dawn, took a train to work. He worked 8 hours a day, for five days a week, for 11 1/2 months a year, for 37 years. Rarely, did he complain. He simply rose each day, and did the same thing, day after day, until dinner time and bed time.

On the weekends, he mowed the lawn, he painted the fence, he trimmed the hedges, he washed the car. I never saw him having any fun.

I am eternally grateful that he worked so very hard to provide for me and for the whole family. But, I wish he had been more present. It seemed like he was always absent, physically and/or emotionally. Or, he came home at night,  and had a few drinks. He took his anger out on me. Or, he breached the boundaries of a healthy relationship. Too many times.

I shut down gradually. First, numbing my emotions. Then, not eating. Not sleeping, keeping watch at night. Then, finally, I stopped speaking.

There are many, many of us "Invisible Children". We slip under the radar. We cannot tell the Truth. We cannot live with the Truth. So, we disappear.

No adult notices our downcast glances. Our raw physical hunger from not being fed. Even our black eyes are explained away. - "Oh, she's a tomboy."  Our silence is explained away. - "Oh, she's just very quiet."

The Invisible Children grow up. They turn away from human beings. Maybe they soothe themselves with drugs, alcohol, or other addictions. They also tell themselves that their traumatic life is all God's fault. And so, they turn away from God. . . .

We all have great storms in our lives, some of us more than others. I almost died before I came into this world. I have faced near drowning, fire, floods in the basement, trees coming down within feet of falling upon me, verbal abuse, physical abuse, medical neglect, violent crime, the deaths of my best friend, my parents, my in-laws, my husband's misdiagnosis with a terminal illness. Where does it end?

And who knows why all this happens to one person? I have heard people say, 'My lousy life is proof that there is no God. OR, God has forgotten and forsaken me.  If God were real, He would have rescued me by now.'

Actually, it is the opposite, God is there in spite of all the storms. He leads us through them.  I, for one, refuse to believe that God is doing this TO me. He loves us as His children. WHY would He torture us with trauma and grief and horror?

I used to resolve that, even if every human had let me down,  I still always had God. I still believe this! I figure, I have to trust someone, someday. I might as well start with God.

If you give up on God, then you really do have No One, Nothing. . . .

Yeah, life is far from perfect. Humans are far from perfect. I am far from perfect. But, God IS perfect, and I am clinging to Him as my lifeline!

In this Scripture, Jesus asks His disciples, "Do you not yet have Faith?" This scene is NOT about the Storm. It is about our Faith.

How big is your Faith? How big is your God?

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