On Watch

"Jesus said to His disciples: 'Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come. It is like a man traveling abroad. He leaves home and places His servants in charge, each with his own work, and orders the gatekeeper to be on watch. Watch, therefore; you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming. May He not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: 'Watch!' " --[Mark 13: 33-37].


In my childhood home, my mother used to tell us often, "What happens in this house, stays this house, within these four walls."

That was an awful thing to say to a child.

My parents were pillars of the community. My father had a professional job, he had an advanced degree. Even my mother had a college degree, at a time when few women went to college. We lived in a fine suburb, in an immaculate house. We went to church every Sunday. My mother even taught Sunday school.

But what was happening on the inside bore no relationship to my family's reputation in the outside world. I was fed inconsistently. I was hit. I was called ugly every day, in excruciating detail -- my ugly nose, my teeth, my complexion and so forth. I was abused verbally, physically, emotionally and in all ways.

Essentially, my mother had sworn me to silence. . . Or? What would happen? I was too afraid to mention what was going on in that house.

There is an awful lot in the press lately about high profile, powerful men whom everybody admires on the outside. But they have a deep, dark ugly secret going on in private.

When their nasty private world becomes public, we feel horrified, disgusted, disillusioned and outraged. . . . as we should.

There was a time when politicians tried to convince us that what happened "in private" was irrelevant to their ability to be a great leader.  They tried to convince us that their peccadilloes and affairs IN the Oval Office were none of our business.

I beg to differ.

I know this now, the same way you know it -- once politics have been eliminated from the equation, we have Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen, Gerry Sandusky, Matt Lauer, Louis CK, and on and on.

We all laughed at that episode of Seinfeld, when Jerry and Elaine joked that THIS -- their friendship, their time in the coffee shop, their time going to the movies together -- had NOTHING to do with THAT -- their sleeping together.

Now we know the Truth. Sex must never become a weapon. Sex is not about emotionless conquest, where you leave in the middle of the night so you can evade that morning face-to-face, and all those inconvenient emotions.

I have learned that if there is a horrifying disconnect between a person's outward demeanor and ugly private behavior, then that is a huge red flag. I have learned to get away from that situation, really fast. In some cases, it may even be necessary to call in the authorities.

This is not some new-agey, social science psycho-babble. This notion is centuries old and goes back to the Bible. The master expects his workers to be the same, whether he is present or absent. The master puts a gatekeeper in place to be sure all is in order.

I have also learned that what a man does in private really does profoundly affect his leadership. We cannot trust someone who abuses his power or station.

I have learned that this kind of behavior must be exposed. Way back in Biblical times, St. Paul said, "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible." -[[Ephesians 5: 111-13].

And John 3: 20 says, "Everyone who does Evil hates the Light, and does not come into the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."  In other words, Evil flourishes in the darkness. But we must be the LIGHT that illuminates Evil.

[Related Posting: "The Seamless Christian", 12/2/12}.

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