The Empty Earth

"Cursed is the one who trusts in human beings, who seeks his strength in flesh, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a barren bush in the desert that enjoys no change of season, but stands in a lava waste, a salt and empty earth.
Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord. He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream: it fears not the heat when it comes; its leaves stay green; in the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit." -[Jeremiah 17: 5-8].

The first time my husband came to see me at my parents' house, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Usually relaxed and telling stories, full of humor and life, he shut down, sitting on the couch hunched over and silent.

I attributed this to his nervousness over meeting my parents in their home for the first time.

But his change in demeanor continued, visit after visit. I asked him, What came over him when he entered my family home?

He confessed, ' Their house is like a quiet death. Lifeless. Lacking compassion or Love. No joy, full of grim outlooks, like everyone just came from a funeral.'

It took me awhile to even see what my husband was talking about. I guess I was used to it, all my life.  I wasn't even sure the reason for the lifelessness.

Until it hit me- I grew up in a home lacking in Faith. My mother used to lecture my sibling and me about how Christian were the worst sinners of all. She said Christians sat in the pews on Sundays, but drank, lied, stole, and cheated on their spouses every other day of the week. She called Christianity, "the opiate of the masses." In other words, it was a sucker belief system, designed to have people become complacent- satisfied with mediocrity or even misery- because the people were trained to ignore the desperation in this life, in promise of a better life in the Great Beyond.

But she did not believe in God or the Great Beyond. She thought it was all a fairy tale, a foolish myth to prop up people who were not capable enough to succeed in life on their own.

My mother worshipped at the Altar of Human Achievement. If someone suffered a tragedy, she blamed them for being weak. There were no "accidents", only fools.

Yes, she trusted fully in human beings. Because in the book, there was No One else to rely on.

I will always remember the day when my mother told me that she had almost died in childbirth with me, and I had almost never been born. She praised the skill and excellence of the obstetrician. I had not doubt she told the truth here, but I also believed that God had guided the hand of that doctor that day. There is no inevitability about Life! - I was born, but could have just as well died that day, and my mother as well! And so, when I heard this story of my birth, I silently professed, "Praise God."

Without Faith and Hope, my mother turned to despair. When anything went wrong in Life, she blamed others. Or, she blamed herself. She turned to anxiety, because if she could not do it all by herself, she thought there was No One to turn to.

When she died several years ago, my mother was anxious and depressed. She had no Hope. I came to see, as she navigated life, that it was her efforts alone which she drew upon. And, of course, when we understand that we humans are so faulty, and have such limited perspective, just getting through the day becomes fraught with peril.

I don't know why I suddenly understood as a young girl, that there is a God, and that He was always there at my elbow, walking with me in good times and bad. I came to see that I don't have to do everything myself perfectly. I can become as proficient as I can at what I need to do. I can strive for excellence . . .

But if everything fails, I am not alone! I trust God and I have Hope in Him. I have Faith that, like a tree planted beside a deep stream, I can draw deeply from the presence of God.

The presence of God is not just a shallow, isolated belief. I have had many prayers answered, both for myself and for family and friends.

God is a source of Joy, because I can let my worries go, and let God take over at the point where my abilities fade in fruitfulness. Where I leave off, God begins.

In times of grief, chaos or crisis, I am strong because I "borrow" strength from God. It is not I who is strong, alone, but who is strong in leaning on God. He is the One who makes me strong.

[Related Postings: "A Living Death", 6/30/12; "Dry Bones", 4/7/14.]

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