Monday, March 5, 2012

Transfiguration of Christ

" After six days, Jesus took Peter, James and John with Him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone.  There he was transfigured before them. His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. There appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking to Jesus. Peter said the Jesus, 'Teacher, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three tents -- one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.' Then a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and a voice caem from the cloud: 'This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to Him!" [Mark 9: 2-7].

'Transfiguration" means a supernatural transformation in appearance. This is one of the many forms that Jesus takes during His time, and to my mind, the most awe inspiring one!

Each Lent, this Scripture is presented as a prefiguration of Jesus' glory to come, after his Ascension into heaven. I have interpreted this image to mean that God had a miraculous plan for Jesus .We are privileged to share this dazzling vision of Jesus and his sacred relationship with the Father.

This year, what I notice most about this passage is how the disciples react to this supernatural occurrence, by turning away to build some tents! Are they oblivious to Jesus? Do they so mistake the signficance of the event that they believe they must still prepare for this time of glory in a human way?

How often have I, in my life, spent more time turned away from the miraculous possibilities of the divine, feverishly "building tents?

I come from a family of no faith. They worshipped only human endeavor. If all efforts failed, we had no alternative plan. I did not learn to pray-- not first, foremost, or always.

My family was so dysfunctional, that I was traumatized by age three. All adults-- parents, extended family, teachers, neighbors-- failed me. Not only did I not have God, I did not have humans either.

I am a survivor. I faced stark choices from a young age. As I grew up, I think I slowly realized that I could either implode (destroy myself), or explode (destroy others), or find God.  I realize that this is a simplistic list, and not everyone can follow this script. But this is what I found in my own life. 

Over the years, I gradually found God. My grandmother was the only one who taught me to pray. When I was a child, she would have me kneel beside my bed, all scrubbed from a bath and in my pajamas, and recite the Lord's Prayer. I had no idea what it meant. I thought "hallowed be" had something to do with Halloween!

Years later,  as an adult, my past came crashing down around me. I decided to convert. I knew that if I did not find a church and work on strengthening my faith, I would be lost. A mentor advised me to meditate on an image of Jesus. I was rattled. I had always gone only to God.

I tried to imagine a picture of Jesus, but all I got was a hazy outline of his robes and hair. There was no face! What was wrong with me? I consoled myself that this is why it is called the "practice of prayer". I was extremely out of practice.

As I began to meditate every day, the past pains came rolling out of me like dark thunder storms. The pain became so huge, I did not know "where to put it". I could not put it on my husband and son (explode). I wanted so deeply to survive, I could not put it on myself (implode).  

I had to find Jesus in a more profound way. I found myself sitting in front of the Crucifix in my church.  I meditated upon Jesus on the cross.  As much pain as I was suffering, Jesus had suffered as well, and more. He, of all people, understood. And He was sent from God. I could give my pain to Jesus. There it would rest.

A few weeeks ago, I entered my church again, in order to meditate. I expected it to be empty. But the church was bathed in a golden light. Candelabra were at the altar. It was the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. I stopped at the end of the aisle. I gasped audibly, "Ohh!" Then tears sprang to my eyes. The pain flowed freely. It was a profound and healing moment. Finally, I fully understood the call to meditate upon Jesus and His many forms.  I finally understood the even more compelling requirement to receive Christ in the Eucharist.

We all spend way too much time "building tents", thinking that that is all there is. We worship materialism and celebrity and the temples of human invention. We walk through crowds in the street and we feel alone. We sit in obeisance to the thrumming blue screens of our laptops, tablets, smart phones and desktops. We believe we are really connected, but instead we are lonely individuals, isolated in the ether of what only "seems" real.

This Lent, will I continue to furiously "build tents" on a windswep mountaintop, flimsy structures that cannot protect me. Will I be so distracted that I ignore the miracles of Jesus all around me?  God says to Peter, James and John, "This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to Him!" to listen to Him, we need to seek Him.

Jesus transfigured Himself before His apostles. He can transform us, if we only dare to spend time wtih Him.

God, may I listen to Your Son and never turn away. May I bear witness to all of Jesus' glory in Heaven as I contemplate His miraculous Transfiguration.

[Related Posts: "Walking on Water", and "Transfiguration", March 20, 2011].

(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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