The Persistent Widow

" Jesus told His disciples a parable about the necessity for them to pray always, without becoming weary. He said, ' There was a judge in a certain town who neither feared God nor respected any human being. And a widow in that town used to come to him and say, 'Render a just decision for me against my adversary.' For a long time, the judge was unwilling, but eventually he thought, 'While it is true that I neither fear God nor respect any human being, because this widow keeps bothering me, I shall deliver a just decision for her, lest she finally come and strike me.' The Lord said, ' Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God grant justice to His chosen ones who cry to Him day and night? Will He be slow to answer them? I tell you, He will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?' " [ Luke 18: 1-8].

I have often wondered what this passage of Scripture could possible mean? The judge in this parable is fully secular, lacking in compassion for the lowly widow, and slow to respond to her cry for justice.

Is not the Greatest Judge, God Himself? How can God be compared to a corrupt secular judge?

In the Quest Reflection Booklet for Small Christian Communities, the commentary on this Scripture says, " If a dishonest judge can be forced to render judgment by the persistence of a woman who simply will not give in to the apparent hopelessness of her situation, the gospel asks us to wonder how much more an infinitely loving God will be drawn into our prayers." [ (c) 2013].

This Scripture asks us, How much will you pray? How much will you persist?

I remember a time in my life, when I prayed unceasingly for years. This was because the prospect of becoming a mother seemed hopeless for me.

So many of my family and friends were getting married and having children. I got married, but I was married for so many years, and I remained childless.

This was a long time spent wandering "in the desert"!

I used to hate to go to the mall to buy pajamas, because you had to walk through the baby department to get to the sleep wear department.  Just that walk alone, through the baby department, felt like a slap in the face. I would suddenly start to feel depressed, seeing all those adorable baby outfits.

I used to see women who were expecting a baby, and I would say to myself, 'I really believe that I could be just as good a mother as they will be. So, God, why is it that I am denied this blessing for so long?'

I thought maybe I should try to fix this situation myself. I gave up on caffeine. I started exercising and taking vitamins. I ate a better diet. I consulted various doctors. I had testing done.

My husband and I even bought a home big enough for raising children.

Finally, I began realizing that my situation was pretty hopeless. I began to fear that I would never become a mother.

Then, I asked a friend-- a Christian-- what do you do if your situation seems hopeless?

She gave me a copy of the Novena of St. Jude to pray. St. Jude is the patron saint of the hopeless. I figured, that pretty much summed up my situation-- hopeless.

Now, I was still on the fence about joining a church. I was not Catholic then. But I believed in God (and still do).

Every day, I followed a new routine:  I set the alarm early. I went for a walk as the sun was rising each day. What a beautiful way to renew my hope, in the dawn of a new day!

Once I got home from my walk, I made coffee. As the coffee brewed,  I faced the kitchen window in the direction of my church. At my kitchen window, I had hung a cross that I had fashioned out of Palm Fronds, from Palm Sunday that year.

Every morning, I would pray the Novena. When it came time to state my Special Intention, I prayed, "God, and St. Jude, I pray for a happy, healthy baby to raise, in Jesus' name." When I said, "In Jesus' name", I meant that I would teach my child to know Jesus and to follow Him. How could God deny me that Intention?

Now--- I prayed this Novena and Intention daily for TWO YEARS! If I ever forgot to pray it one day, I prayed twice the next day.

Was I foolish? Or filled with Faith? Or desperate?  Maybe a bit of all three.

I began to feel after awhile, like I was nagging God. What would His reaction be, that I was being such a "pest"? Eventually, would He call down to me and tell me, 'Enough already! I KNOW what you want!' ?

Maybe He really was "working on it", only I did not see anything happening. How could I trust that something was happening behind the scenes, when I could not see it?

Every day became the same to me. Every day, I determinedly asked God for the same thing, using the same words. Every day, I told my husband, as we were drinking our morning coffee, 'Maybe today is the day we find out if our baby is coming.'

When our son was finally born, after 15 years of married life, a friend asked me, 'HOW did you wait so long, with no complaint, no anger, no hopelessness, no despair?'

I told her, it was because I had Faith! I really did trust that God would handle this problem for me.

This Scripture asks, How much will you persist? But Jesus also asks, " When the Son of Man comes, will He find Faith on earth?" In other words, Jesus asks, not just, 'How much do you ask', but also, 'How much Faith do you have?'

It took far longer than I expected to become a mother. Nothing happened in the way that I expected. It was God's way, God's timing.

But, in the end, our son was born. And he really is "happy, healthy and raised up in Jesus' name! " He serves at our church. He serves and protects his friends at school. He reads his Bible. He has a strong sense of justice. He is a gift!

And yes, I still have that cross, fashioned from Palm Fronds. The cross is now in my son's special treasure box. And I have told him, that he must keep that special cross forever.

" Be always thankful, pray continously, give thanks, whatever happens." [ 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18].

[Related Posting, " Putting the Last First", August 25, 2013.]

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