Fulfilling The Law

" Jesus said, ' Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them [ manifest them completely].  I tell you the truth, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.  You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ' Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But, I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother ,' Raca' [ worthless, empty-headed], is answerable to the Sanhedrin [ the Great Court]. But anyone who says,' You fool', will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you are offering a gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go, and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."   [ Matthew 5: 17-18, 21-24].

The Bible is replete with brothers who are filled with jealousy, and who even hate each other.

Who can forget the brothers, Cain and Abel in the Old Testament?  In a jealous fit, Cain kills Abel.     [ Genesis 4].  But God sees everything. He puts a mark on Cain, so that Cain always bears the mark of sin.

Further generations of brothers fought with each other. Abraham's son Isaac marries Rebekah. She bears twins, Jacob and Esau who tussle even in the womb.

Then, there is Joseph, one of Jacob's sons, whose brothers hate him for his favored status with their father. The brothers throw Joseph into a pit. When he does not die, they decide to fish him out and sell him into slavery in Egypt.

No wonder, in later generations, God gives Moses the Ten Commandments; and the first Commandment is, " Thou shalt not kill".

I read these stories and I think, ' But, these stories are SO Old Testament! Besides, I am no murderer!'  I think-- this kind of stuff just does not happen today!

Then I reflect back to the time of my childhood.  I think of how my own brother used to throw sand in my eyes in the sandbox. He would call me ugly everyday. He would hit me. He would lock me in my room. He once took my bicycle and said, from then on, it was his. ( My father found me in the driveway, crying.)

I thought he hated me. Maybe, I was right. All I knew was that my soul was slowly dying. I had to get away from him.

We each left home in our late teens, to go to university. We largely stopped speaking.

I would show up to holidays, say hello; eat dinner; throw gifts at him; then leave. I thought: all that was required was my politeness.

One morning, decades later, I was in my kitchen. The phone rang. I could see on the display that it was my brother. I thought, ' What is HE calling for?'

I answered the phone. Our father had been rushed to the hospital. About an hour later, my brother called again. Our dad had not made it.

Suddenly, all the years melted away. I packed some things and drove to my childhood home.

When I got there, I suddenly began to see how frail and small my mother seemed. I thought that my father's death was all about forgiving my mother for past hurts between US.

At this point, she could no longer take care of herself . Somehow,  I was going to have to forgive her, if I was going to care for her and not abandon her.

But along the way, it became clear that I was going to have to deal with my brother again. He was just as interested in our mother's care,  as I was. He was not going to go away.

At first, I was furious that I had to deal with him. It was hard enough to take my mother on.

I said, 'God, I just dug deep to take my mother back. Now you want me to take my brother back TOO?! Are You crazy?!'

 I began to see that God was upping the ante on me. I mean, I had NOT by any means murdered my brother.  No, I HAD followed God's Commandment-- to the letter. . .

But NOW what did God want? I was angry with God because it seemed that He only wanted more out of me.

Sometimes, Gods knows we are capable of more. He wants us to do more than to follow the bare bones of His Commandments.

He wants us to bring His Law to fruition. So, I had to ask myself, what further was required? Was I merely ignoring my brother? Or truly working on forgiving him?

Sometime after that, I became overwhelmed with caring for my mother and for my own family at the same time. My world seemed turned upside down. I knew that I would need God more than ever, or I would fail at this.

I started contemplating choosing a church and converting.

I would sit in chapel daily, and meditate and pray. Out of these sessions, I gained more perspective on life.

As it says in this Scripture in Matthew, I had to stop calling my only brother 'fool' or 'stupid', in my head. I had to see him for who he really was, my only brother.

I had to do that, before I could get closer to God. Or otherwise, all that ugly thinking in my head would get in the way of God's entering in.

It was only after I had begun to forgive my brother in my heart, that I could truly become a Christian again, and receive Communion at the altar.

In the end, the Eucharist is THE fulfillment of our souls as Christians. That holy moment of fulfillment in the Eucharist is beyond any Laws we can imagine. That transcending Love will never be truly available to us, if we shut out God; because, by shutting out our brothers, we do preclude the Love of God.

I have to say that family forgiveness was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But as my heart softens, I begin to receive an even greater gift: God Himself.

[Related Posting: "Hate =Murder", February 17, 2011.]

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