The Love Seeker

" Brothers and sisters, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Avoid giving offense, whether to the Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in every way, not seeking my own benefit but that of many, that they may be saved. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." -[ 1 Corinthians 10: 31- 11:1].


As many of you know, I am a student in Biblical School. Our instructor last year was a tiny, feisty nun, Sister J. She gave learned theological lectures. She also peppered her talks with advice and  humorous asides. She used to say, "A life without Love is deadly."

That comment resonated with me. I grew up in a childhood home without Love. No one ever said, 'I love you' to me. No one ever hugged me.

I have heard skeptics say, "Well, back in those days, our parents were not all 'lovey-dovey'. But, we knew that we were loved."

I did NOT know that I was loved. My family did not speak Love. They did not show Love. I sometimes went to school with black eyes. A sibling used to hit me and call me ugly every day. My parents told me that I was "too sensitive" for complaining about it.

There is more than a feeling to this notion that a lack of Love is deadly. In laboratory experiments, mice separated from their mother at birth and not given any physical stroking are more anxious and aggressive for the rest of their lives.

It is a medical fact that one can die of a broken heart. It is also a medical fact that living a life of hate and anger can be deadly. I once had a Math teacher who was viciously mean. He believed that Math performance on the part of his students improved if he yelled at us. He taught by fear. Our grades plummeted. Before he reached middle age, he died of a massive heart attack.

Some will say that we are born selfish. I do not believe that this statements is true! First, just because a baby cries in the middle of the night when you are trying to sleep, or cries in the middle of Mass, or cries in the middle of your very important conversation does not make her selfish. A baby who cries wherever, whenever, is hungry or tired or hot or wet or needs to be comforted. The baby is not doing this crying TO you. This crying is not selfishness, it is a Will to survive.

As a Christian, I also do not believe that we cannot know how to love, if we were never loved as children. The first sentence of the Catechism says, "The desire for God is written upon the human heart." We have God's Love inside us from birth!

But, as we grow up, we do have to leave our childish ways aside. We move from being survivors to thrivers. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 13:11-- "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."

Our childish sense of Love moves from always being about what we need, to being about what others might need from us. Jesus tells us this when He says, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." - [Mark 12:13].

As a child, I had to figure things out for myself. I had this child-like notion that all these negative "slings and arrows" were coming at me - hunger, physical attack, verbal abuse, medical neglect, abandonment, jealousy, rage. I imagined that if I sent Love back at those who were cruel, maybe the negative arrows would at least be neutralized. This is what a mature Christian would call "Spiritual Warfare."

Today, I have survived! I still practice Spiritual Warfare every day. A cousin tells me, 'Wow! Everything you do is either to enhance your strength and knowledge; or is in service and love for others.'

So, she has noticed my Spiritual Warfare! I do try to take care of myself, eating well, sleeping enough, staying active. If I am not well and strong, how can I fight for Love?

I also try to learn as much as I can about the Word and about God. My religious education stopped when I was 14. I have a lot of catching up to do. If I am not informed, how can I know about God's Love?

I do pray that God makes me strong and gives me the wisdom and the words by which to love others. If I don't have that intuition about what others need, how can I love?

Every day, I try to do something kind for someone else. This may be for a family member or a neighbor. Sometimes, this kindness is towards a stranger.

For, if we do not counter Hate with Love, are we not multiplying the problem of Evil? Jesus said to His disciples, "By this, people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - [John 13:35].

I live by 1 Peter 1:22 -- : "Love one another deeply, from the heart." Love heals all wounds, yours AND mine. Love heals!

[Related Posting: "New Year, New World", January 1, 2015.]

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