Saturday, June 23, 2018

Called By Name



" When the time came for Elizabeth to have her child, she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown His great mercy toward her and they rejoiced with her. When they came on the eight day to circumcise the child, they were going to call him Zechariah after his father, but his mother said in reply, 'No. He will be called John.' But they answered her, 'There is no one among your relatives who has this name.'  So they made signs, asking his father what he wished him to be called. He asked for a tablet and wrote, 'John is his name,' and all were amazed. Immediately his mouth opened, his tongue freed and he spoke blessings to God. . . All who heard these things took them to heart, saying, 'What, then will this child be?' . . The child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the desert until the day of his manifestation to Israel.". -[ Luke 1:57-66, 80].


I never liked my name. It is "plain-Jane", simple and old-fashioned. There is really no way to dress it up. That was my mother's agenda all along, to give me a name that could not be cutesied up, or abbreviated- just a simple, straightforward name.

My mother said she just liked the name and, besides it sounded good with my last name. My dad said he thought they chose my name after a relative in his genealogy, on his mother's side.

In this Scripture, Elizabeth and Zechariah go against tradition by not naming their son after the father Zechariah.  When Zechariah, a high priest, goes into the inner sanctum of the temple, suddenly an angel appears who tells him that he and Elizabeth will have a son, despite their advanced years, and that they will name him John. John means "Yahweh is gracious."  At the announcement by the angel, Zechariah protests that he does not believe that he and Elizabeth will have a son. Thereafter, Zechariah becomes mute.

As the child John grows strong in spirit, he spends time in the desert, until he emerges ready to speak for the Lord and prophesy.

My husband says he loves my name because it sounds powerful. I never felt very powerful as a child. In the face of abuse, dysfunction and trauma, in fact, I gradually shut down- - first not showing my emotions, then numbing my emotions, then barely sleeping, then barely eating; and finally, I took a vow of silence. I had come to the conclusion, at the age of ten, that I did not believe in the capacity of humans to love or show compassion.

It took many years of silence before I was able to leave home; and before I finally met the man who gave me unconditional love. Finally, I began to believe in the power of Love, again. I began to sleep well, eat well, and to speak.

Twenty years into our marriage, I found myself in a personal desert. In the span of a few years,  my parents died, my father-in-law lost his second wife to cancer, my best friend died, and all the terrible memories of trauma came flooding back.

I began to meet with my pastor for Spiritual Direction. I knew I was in a dark place and in battle. I would need God. I could not do this alone.

I asked how I could rebuild my trust? He said, Start by trusting that the sun will come up each day. Start by trusting that night will come and the sky will get dark. Start by trusting that after a long day at work, your husband will come home to you.

I did become stronger in spirit. At first, it was so gradual, that I barely noticed. After awhile, people I knew told me that I was transforming before their eyes, becoming stronger and more confident.

At my last meeting with my pastor, I was ready to move on. It turns out that he was ready to move on, as well - he had been assigned to a new parish. It was then that he told me that as a young seminarian, he had been assigned to a church named after a saint - and that saint name WAS my first name.

This saint was one of the women who surrounded Jesus, who walked with Him and ministered to Him. She was, in essence, one of the first female disciples. Suddenly, my name made perfect sense. Perfect, like John's name meaning, "Yahweh is gracious", because of God's great grace in bestowing a son on such elderly parents.

I was emerging from the desert, and ready to turn my pain into Love for others. I gradually acquired the strength of spirit to give to others, not just to draw living force from others.

These days, I have a husband and a son. I knit hats and scarves for a city shelter. I give food to the needy. I call friends who live alone. I plant flowers for neighbors. I bake cookies for friends who have no time or talent for baking. I am on the Board of a foundation that helps a tiny village down a dirt road in Africa - a village that thinks the world has forgotten them.

And yes, I speak of the mercy of God who has brought me from a kind of living death, to vibrant life.

Sometimes, your name becomes you. But sometimes, you become your name.

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2018. All Rights reserved.





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