In Weakness, Strength

"Brothers and sister: That I, Paul, might not become too elated, because of the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me. . . Three times, I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said to me, 'My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.' "  -[2 Corinthians 12: 7-10].


I have struggled mightily with this concept of being strong when I am weak. It makes no sense that one's weakness could become true strength.

This weekend, I was watching an interview with the actor, Michael J. Fox. The interviewer asked him 'Would he rather be remembered for his movie roles, such as in "Back to the Future"; or, for his foundation that has raised nearly $1 Billion for Parkinson's research?'

Astonishingly, he chose his work in financing Parkinson's research. In other words, he chose his "weakness" - -his disease - - over his strength - - his gift for acting.

As he talked about the legacy of his Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research, I suddenly found myself asking, 'Why was HE chosen?' - You notice that I did not ask, 'Why was HE burdened? OR, Why was HIS life ruined?'

This is exactly what St. Paul spoke of when he wrote, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." Michael J. Fox took his greatest weakness, and turned it into his greatest strength.

St. Paul, summing up his life, recited a long litany of personal traumas and disasters: "Five times I received forty lashes minus one., Three times, I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. I spent a night and a day in the open seas. In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the seas and among false brothers, in labor and toil and often without sleep, in hunger and thirst and often without food, in cold and exposure . . . Who is weak, and I am not weak? " - [ 2 Corinthians 11: 24-29].

I have often engaged in a similar litany: Nearly lost my life as I was being born, so I almost never saw this life at all. My mother nearly died giving birth to me. Nearly drowned when I was four. Diagnosed with a chronic lung disease when I was six. Numbed my emotions when I was 8. Stopped speaking when I was ten. Lost the only family member who loved me unconditionally, my grandfather, when I was ten. Went to school with black eyes from physical abuse. Was not fed. Barely slept. Cold winters. Suffered emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. Was forbidden to go to church or to receive Communion. Nearly died in a violent crime. Twice, falling trees nearly killed me. Gained a son, but nearly lost him. In two years' time, my best friend, then also a dear family friend, my father, my mother and my dear mother-in-law, all died.

You would think that, when I recite this litany, that I am unhappy and complaining about my life. But, no. What I see is the in-breaking Kingdom of God. I was able to endure all this, a trauma or crisis almost every year of my life, because God's Grace upon me was sufficient!

I tell people my story and they say, 'Oh! My Lord, how did you survive?' And I say, 'I would not have survived, if I did not have my deep Faith. My favorite Scripture is, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the Faith." - [2 Timothy 4:7].

I tell people, 'Things were so bad, I stopped speaking.'  Yet, the encouragers in my life tell me, 'But you were not burdened, you were chosen. That was a blessing, not a curse.'

I tell people, ' When I finally worked up the courage to return to the church and walk up that long aisle to receive the Eucharist, I was shaking, overwhelmed, terribly emotional.' Yet, the encouragers in my life tell me, 'Everyone should feel overwhelmed and in awe at receiving the Eucharist.'

As I look back, I am fully aware that my life is a testament to the presence of God. I see the hand of God in the doctor who saved my life as I entered this world. I see the face of God in the neighbors who fed me, or in the friends and strangers who helped me after I nearly died in a crime - when my own family refused to let me come home.

The Truth is, God never wants us to suffer. But when we do suffer - and in this life, we do - the crisis provides an opening for God's Love and Grace to enter even more fully.

The meaning of the word, "Crisis", IS disaster, but also, "crossroads or turning point".  God's Power is made perfect in our weakness.

I am living proof of God's Power and Love. I have been told that I "ought to be" dead, maimed, homeless, in jail, addicted, in danger from domestic abuse, terminally ill, unable to love or to trust, suicidal, or abusive to others.

But, no. I am a miracle. . . Because in my own weakness, with God's loving Grace, I am strong!

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