His Divine Mercy

" "Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So, the other disciples told him, 'We have seen the Lord!' But he said to them, 'Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it.' A week later, His disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked [for fear of the Jews], Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you!' Then, He said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Stop doubting and believe.' Thomas said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!" [John 20: 24-28].

I grew up in a household of no faith. When I was 14, I asked to keep attending church after my First Communion and my parents said, simply, 'No.'

                     DOUBT  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Doubt puts me in a fog. I am blind and I do not know which way is down, towards earth, the journey into sin, deep into a violent and loveless life. And which way is up, to the uplifting clouds, to thoughts of God, to a longing for Heaven.

I was surrounded by a family that was loveless, cruel, harsh, and devoid of Faith. I wanted to believe what I had heard in church when I was a child: " Jesus loves me, this I know." "God is everywhere".

It was awfully hard to keep the faith, when all around me refused to see God, refused to seek God. My family knew no Love, they knew no God. How hard it is, to believe in God, when adults whom I was supposed to trust, said that Christians are hypocrites who sin all week and expect God to rescue them every Sunday.

After a time, when I was a teen, I was beginning to seriously doubt that God even existed.

I once confessed this to a priest. I was ashamed of my youthful doubt. I thought that he would chastise me. Instead, he accepted what I had said. He nodded solemnly and said, "Okay."

I waited for a charge to go and say some prayers, or do some good works. No such requirement came.

The truth is, we ALL doubt. I have even hated myself for it. But, to doubt is so very human.

Even Mother Teresa, while ministering to the poorest on our planet, was tormented by doubt. She said, " There is such terrible darkness in me, as if everything was dead." And, " If there be no God - there can be no soul-- if there is no Soul-- then, Jesus, You are also not true."

WHY, O God, do we doubt?

I think it is an essential part of being human. We are so blind, so frail and groping, compared to what our omniscient God can see and know.

In this reading about Thomas, I am struck by how Jesus does not hate Thomas for doubting. He does not berate him or reject him. He does not abandon Thomas to his torment, or slander Him among the disciples. He does not shame him, saying, "See here, how our Thomas does not believe in Me."

Jesus simply shows Thomas His wounds! Jesus proves His identity.

This is Jesus' Divine Mercy for us!

In our present day world, I witness a lot of hatred and rejection and judgment of others. Some hate others for believing. Some hate others for not believing.

A wise friend said to me once, 'There is a big difference between Justice and Mercy.'  Justice is needing to be right, at all times. Mercy is showing compassion to those who struggle and do not always see the Truth.

In my Faith, I seek to be merciful. I love even those who doubt. I want simply to be a shining embodiment of  my Faith.

And, if I doubt, I want others to show me the Way. I do not want others to kill my Soul. One of the greatest blessings in the world is if others see us as we really are, the way Jesus does. And the greatest kind of Mercy is to help set someone back on the path, towards His great Love.

[Related Postings: " Doubt", May 1, 2011. " The Truth of His Wounds", April 13, 2012.]

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