Come, Holy Spirit

" He who was seated on the throne said, ' I am making everything new.' Then, He said, ' Write this down, for these Words are trustworthy and true. It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.' One of the seven angels carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of Heaven from God. It shone with the Glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. The city wall was made of jasper, and the city of pure gold, was as pure as glass. The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. . . . jasper, sapphire, chalcedony, emerald, sardonyx, carnelian, chrysolite, beryl, topaz, chrysoprase, jacinth, and amethyst. The great street of the city was of pure gold, like transparent glass. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the Glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there." [ Revelation 21: 5-25].

These stunning Words are a description of what Eternity will be like when God brings about a New City and a new order.

I once commented to my pastor that waiting for Eternity to come was a very long time to wait, indeed, before experiencing Perfection.  Our world is so very violent, so greedy, so polluted by our own hands, so vicious and ugly.

My pastor reassured me that we can love each other in so many heartfelt ways, and work towards creating a little heaven right here on earth, right now.

But, I thought to myself, I am only human. How can I possibly withstand such a cruel world all my life, all by my own frail defenses?

In this week's Gospel, Jesus gives his disciples a Final Declaration, before His Crucifixion. He tells them, " I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor, to be with you forever-- the Spirit of Truth. I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you! Before long, the World will not see me any more, but you will see me. On that day, you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me and I am in you. The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you."   [John: 14: 16-26].

I used to believe as a child that my Faith was to be found only in church-- as if one's Faith is as evanescent as a butterfly or a puff of dandelion seed. I was afraid that if I was not physically around the church, that my Faith would go Pfft! and disappear.

I used to believe that God was somewhere "out there", certainly past my own physical being, maybe even up in outer space.. I never even knew what the Holy Spirit was, until something like 2008. The Holy Spirit was something that only Catholics talked about. And I never knew that the Holy Spirit was not a "something", but a Someone.

I used to wonder how I could possibly find God? Or follow Jesus-- since everyone knows that He died over 2000 years ago ?

I used to wonder, if my parents told me nothing but lies, then where would I find the Truth?

Recently, I sat down and practiced some meditation. I breathed deeply and slowly; and I tried to set my busy, conscious mind aside for awhile. I set about imagining my perfect place.

What arose next was nothing less than stunning.

I was imagining that I was on vacation again at the lake, at the place where we used to go when I was a child. I was on the flat roof of our vacation rental. I used to sneak up there as a girl, to get away from the world for awhile. Once again, I imagined that I could feel the warm sunshine on my back. I could see the glistening lake, past the metal railings. I could smell the sweet pines, and hear the rustling breeze.

As I breathed deeply, I was suddenly totally surrounded by a glimmering, pulsing Presence, filled with light and energy and soul.  A great, shimmering, silvery space rose up around me. The silvery light reflected brilliantly through a million prisms. The space around me shone and glowed. This place was not about light, it WAS light. It was not a new space, but a place that was eternal and timeless. The Presence was peaceful, strong, awe-inspiring. I was humbled and blinded and amazed. But I was not afraid at all.

Truly, I did not want to come out of this meditation. I did not want to come back from this place. I wanted to stay there Forever.

I had not yet read this week's Reading from Revelation. But when I read those words at Mass this week, I said to myself, "I was there!" The description of the "brilliance", the surfaces "clear as crystal", the roads as "transparent glass", the light so bright that there was "no need for the sun or the moon", the notion that there will never, ever be any night there-- all were exactly as I had experienced in my meditation.


My Wise Advisor had given me the guidance for this meditation. I spoke to her afterwards. I was in awe. I could not adequately-- in ordinary human language -- explain where I had been. I simply told her, "You gave me God!"

Several years ago, I had been lamenting to my son that sometimes I did not know "where God was?" He has been attending religious instruction weekly for a few years already. He actually giggled at me when I said this, because this notion that a grown-up knows less about God than a child does, was hilarious. He told me gently, "Silly Mommy! THAT is where He is!"--- pointing to my heart.

I understood at the time the intellectual meaning of his words. But fundamentally, I had no idea what he was talking about. How could God and Jesus be inside ME? And where in the world were they? How could they even "fit" inside me?

Now, I know, from a place deep inside me, that God really is not "out there".  He really IS in me.

Growing up, my family was not loving  or truthful or faith-filled. I used to feel so desperately alone. Now I know that I was never lost or alone at all! I was truly filled with the Holy Spirit, all along.

And, I have this amazing sense of peace because -- if I can access this Holy Spirit inside me once, I can do it again. So can YOU!

All that I need to do is say, "Come, Holy Spirit." The Holy Spirit is there for me, whenever I need or want that peaceful strength, that surpasses all understanding.


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