Warning Signs of Abuse

" The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness, like those long dead. Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in You." [ Psalm 143].

As if the cases of Jaycee Dugard and Elizabeth Smart are not enough. .. now comes the news of three young women kidnapped and held captive in Cleveland, Ohio for ten years. The kidnapper was a neighbor everyone recognized and knew.

My heart sings that these women were finally found, alive. They have been freed from that dark place.

But my heart sinks to see yet another case of such criminal behavior, hiding "in plain sight".

This is not my normal, personally reflective posting. I am simply going to list below the warning signs of abuse.

We all need to be aware of these warning signs. It does not matter whether you live in America or elsewhere -- abuse is abuse is abuse. It is the same everywhere in the world.

From "Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect: The Signs and Symptoms", www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/signs.

"The first step in helping abused and neglected children is learning to recognize the signs. The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring, but a closer look at the situation may be warranted when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination."

GENERAL SIGNS

The child:

**Shows sudden changes in behavior.
** Has not received proper help for physical or medical problems.
** Has learning problems.
** Is always watchful, as if preparing for something bad to happen. [ I still need to keep my back to the wall and see all exits and entrances.]
** Lacks adult supervision. [I almost drowned in a neighbor's pool].
** Is overly compliant, passive or withdrawn. [ I stopped speaking when I was ten. Teachers noticed.]
** Does not want to go home. [I argued forcefully to go to school even when I was very sick. I told my mother I was "not sick."]

SIGNS OF PHYSICAL NEGLECT

The child:

**Has unexplained injuries [I had several black eyes at a very young age].
**Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home. [I was almost hospitalized from extreme stress after my father tried to bring me home alone, without my mother. Also, I used to cry when my husband-to-be dropped me off after a date. I did not want to enter the house.]
**Shrinks when approached by adults. [I rarely smiled and could not look an adult in the eye.]


**Reports injury by a parent or adult caregiver.

SIGNS OF NEGLECT

The child:

**Is frequently absent from school.
**Begs or steals food or money. [I was painfully thin and starving. I ate dinner about every other day and rarely ate breakfast. I ate ravenously at neighbor's homes].
**Lacks needed medical care. [ My chronic lung disease was not treated once I reached 14.]
**Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor.
** Lacks sufficient clothing for weather. [ I walked to and from school in rain, snow, freezing rain etc. Neighbors gave me rides.]
**Abuses alcohol or drugs.
** States that there is no one at home to provide care. [I told my mother-in-law- to- be that I "had no mother and father."]

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

The child:

** Has difficulty walking or sitting.
** Suddenly refuses to change for gym.
** Reports nightmares or sleep disturbances. [I had nightmares and was sleep-walking. OR, I slept all day out of avoidance].
** Experiences a sudden change in appetite. [I barely ate at home and claimed I was not hungry].
** Demonstrates unusual sexual knowledge or behavior. Often demonstrated in drawings or at play.
**Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease or infection under age 14. [I had mysterious infections under the age of ten.]
** Runs away. [I kept an escape kit at a girlfriend's house].
** Reports sexual abuse.

The parent is secretive and controlling and extremely private. [I was allowed to wear only certain colors. The blinds and doors in my childhood home were always closed, even on hot days.]

SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE

The child:

** Shows extremes in behavior, such as extreme passivity or aggression. [I displayed no emotions, neither joy or anger, by age eight.]
** Is either inappropriately adult or infantile. [I taught myself to give up diapers, I put myself down for naps, etc.]
** Is delayed in physical or emotional development.
** Has attempted suicide.
** Reports a lack of attachment to the parent. [ I told my kindergarten teacher I did NOT need my mother.]

The parent constantly belittles, blames or berates the child. [ I was called ugly every day; and when I needed help, I was called a failure.]"

I would add to this any self- destructive behavior on the part of the child: self cutting, cutting off all her hair, consuming glue or hand sanitizer, rubbing her skin raw.


The abused child "in plain sight"--- that was me . . . . . Please do not let this happen to any other children!

If you suspect something, contact the police, the child's school or a state agency or social worker. These authorities are all required to report and investigate.

You may not be sure what you are seeing is really abuse. But if you report what you see, you may save a child's life!

[Related Postings: " The Culture of Abuse", April  10, 2013; "Rescuing The Invisible Child", April 18, 2013; " STOP! Abuse", April 14, 2011; "And the Angels Wept", June 26, 2012.]

(c) Spiritual Devotional 2013. All Rights Reserved.