The Progression Of Prayer

" Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, ' Lord, teach us to pray. . .'  He said to them, ' When you pray, say, ' Father, hallowed be your name, your Kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, for we forgive everyone in debt to us.' " [ Luke 11: 1-13].

I grew up in a dysfunctional family, a family without faith. My mother and father did not teach me to pray. They did not pray for me or with me. They considered church to be a "waste of time and money."

In my family, there was anxiety and depression, alcoholism, and dependence on nicotine. There was greed and materialism. There was a sense of great superiority over others, as if a religion of self- importance could fill that great inner void of the soul. In the extended family, there was even suicide. A life without prayer is a desperate, solitary trip into depression and the death of the soul.

As children, we learn to pray orally at first. My grandmother taught me how to pray the Our Father. This is the precious prayer, given to us by Jesus Himself.

But learning the Our Father happened only when she was minding me, when my mother was not there. Prayer taught in secret takes on an atmosphere of shame. This is absolutely not what God wants.

I applaud my grandmother for teaching me to pray. Only, no one ever explained the words. What did "hallowed" mean; what was the significance of "trespass"? Prayer by rote is meaningless.

When I went, as an adult, to a pastor at an overwhelming time of my life, I was in a panic because I thought God was gone! God never does really leave us. But we can leave Him, by forgetting to pray.

I told the priest that I was not born Catholic, in fact, I felt like I had no religion at all. He told me not to worry about knowing the Hail Mary or any other oral prayer, just talk to God every day.

So it was that I progressed to the second kind of prayer in our relationship with God:  that is, Meditative Prayer. I found myself examining what I knew about God at various times of my life. I found myself meditating on Scripture and attempting to relate the Word to my life.

Recently, I was privileged to attend a workshop on Contemplative Prayer. This is considered to be the highest form of prayer. It was at one time  believed that only monks and nuns in a cloistered community were capable of Contemplative Prayer.

But in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it is now clear that Contemplative Prayer is available and achievable by anyone.

When we practice Contemplative Prayer, we seek simply to rest in God's Infinite Love. We lift a Crucifix up to our lips to bestow a kiss, and we hold the Crucifix up to our hearts, heart to heart with Jesus.

When I closed my eyes, and began to practice Contemplative Prayer for the first time, I was afraid that God's Love would be too big. You see, growing up, no one had ever hugged me or said, "I love you." I was often physically hungry, and worse, I was spiritually hungry.

The minute I closed my eyes, all sorts of objections came up. I think I was still stuck in Meditative Prayer. I said to God, " BUT my son struggles in certain school subjects, I worry about him." I "heard", "It does not matter." I brought up other worries: finances, the stresses of daily life. Once again, I heard, " It does not matter." Suddenly, I understood that no matter what earthly concerns I might have, God would be there for me.

Only then, could I simply rest and reach up for God's never-ending Love. At that point, I imagined God's long arms reaching down to give me a hug. Prayer is the practice of entering into healing from God. I know that now. I could feel it.

The priest leading the workshop brought us out of our Contemplations, by reciting the Magnificat, or the Prayer of Mary. I had never heard this prayer before. The Magnificat says in part, " God has shown the strength of His arm, he has scattered the proud in their conceit. He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, and has lifted up the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty." [ Luke 1: 46-55]. That was me, lowly, hungry, needing the strength of God's arms.

I have often felt foolish, because there are so many basic things that I do not know about  my faith and religion. I am not "book smart" when it comes to my religion. Perhaps I was the only one in the room who did not know the Magnificat.

But I had found the most important aspect of all, the ability to receive God's Love and to  enter into a trusting relationship with Him. This is the most precious, the most miraculous aspect of Prayer.  Nothing else matters at all, if we cannot begin to approach God and feel ourselves worthy of His Love.

For more information on Contemplative Prayer, contact the author of "The Prayer of Jesus Crucified", Father L. Tucker, at tucker.frlar@gmail.com

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