The Humble Leader

"James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and said to Him, 'Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.' He replied, 'What do you wish me to do for you?' They answered Him, 'Grant that in your Glory we may sit, one at your right and the other at your left.' Jesus said to them, 'You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?' They said to Him, 'We can'.
Jesus said to them . . . 'To sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared. . . You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all.' " -[ Mark 10: 34-45].


I used to believe that God was my personal "Answer Man". I would pray to Him, "God, please let me get a good grade on this test. Then, maybe people will respect me and I will be happy."

But all that happened was that my mother insisted that I help my brother with his homework! This brother of mine, who called me ugly, in infinite detail every day and who laid traps for me in my bedroom.  . . I thought that God was not answering my prayer!

But He did answer me. He was showing me that lording my intelligence over my brother would not make me any greater, or eliminate my brother's meanness.

I used to pray to God, "Lord, please let me get this job right after I finish college. Then I will be independent and not need to rely on anyone else, who might be mean or cruel to me."

But all that happened was that God sent me a helpmate and a lifelong spouse. This man loved me unconditionally; but God also was calling ME to love and care for my husband as a doting wife.
I thought that God was not answering my prayer!

But He did answer me. He was showing me that love is not just about someone loving ME. Love is about caring for and serving others.

I used to pray, "God, send me a child borne of my husband and me, so I will be like everyone else and have a child just like us."

But all that happened was that God sent me a child to adopt. This child was mine, but not mine; a child to love as my own but also a child who desperately needed parents. I thought that God was not answering my prayer!

But He did answer me. He was showing me that having a child is not about MY need for appending a doting child to my side; but about nurturing and serving a child who needs ME.

I used to pray, "God, my early life was filled with such severe pain and trauma. How can I go forward in life with such wounds? Who or what could ever heal me?"

But all that happened is that he sent me a friend from Africa, from a village where his people were dying for lack of water, from lack of food or medical care, who believed that the world had forgotten them, and maybe God had forgotten them too. I thought that God was not answering my prayer!

But He did answer me. He was showing me that my wounds are serious but there are others who suffer just as much if not more. And THEN he asked me to help the people in this African village!

Sometimes when we pray to God, it is US-centered. We cry out in pain and we want the pain to go away. We think that God is sending us non-sequitur replies. But usually we get unexpected answers,  when we are asking the wrong questions.

I thought I could overcome my trauma by meeting the right people who knew how to be kind and compassionate. Or, I thought I could isolate myself, not needing anyone, but relying on myself, my gifts, my education, my talents, to ease the suffering that life has heaped upon me.

But, to follow Christ is NOT to become great and superior, and to sit in glory at the right or left of Jesus, or to inherit a throne. To follow Christ is to encounter persecution, abuse, suffering, hardship, sacrifice, and rejection.

To follow Christ is NOT to isolate oneself from the difficult situations or persons in life. To follow Christ is to encounter the difficult people, even to engage with them, to emerge intact and even to help them.

A true leader does not exercise authority over someone, take all the glory and trappings of material wealth for himself, or promote himself above all others.

A true leader comes to serve, not to be served. A true leader makes sacrifices for others, not because of any honor accruing to him, but because of all the good accruing to others.

The disciples believed that Jesus came as a powerful, glorified ruler who would free them from the oppression of  Rome. Instead, Jesus came to free them from the narcissistic oppression of the Self.

As Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

If your heart is full of yourself, and full of disparaging others around you, then there is no room to love and to serve. . . . because whoever wishes to be great must become the servant of all.

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