The Invisible Catholic

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. This is the day that Catholics go to church and receive ashes on their forehead in the sign of the cross. It is a sign of our repentance, a symbol of our deep commitment to following Christ and His teachings.

Certainly, this is a very visible and obvious mark of a Christian and especially a Catholic. It is even more of a conspicuous symbol than wearing a gold cross or a St. Christopher's medal.

It has never been easy being a Catholic. The early Christians suffered persecution, going back as far as St. Paul and St. Stephen.

Jesus said, "They will hate you because of me." [Matthew 10:22]

This intolerance continues today. When I used to work in a big downtown building, a Catholic co-worker went to noon Mass on Ash Wednesday to receive ashes. At a meeting after lunch, someone pointed out, "Uh, you have dirt on your forehead!"  I chalked this up to ignorance.

Then, a relative came home from work saying that a co-worker asked him "What ARE you?" He replied, "An American." The person insisted on asking again. The topic of religion came up. My relative said, "Ok, I am Catholic."

The co-worker's response: "I thought you were way too smart to be Catholic." No, I am not making this up.

Some have even suggested to me that Catholicism is an "immigrant" religion, questioned our rituals like the incense and Latin hymns and prayers, as if we are practicing some sort of archaic Medieval seance. Ouch!!!

Growing up, I was taken to church, baptized, confirmed. I received First Holy Communion at age 13. Shortly after, we inexplicably stopped attending church. When I asked to go, I was told, "We already did that", as if Confirmation was equivalent to graduating from high school.  So, why would you go back?

If I wanted to say grace at meals, or if I praised God for a sunny day, I got eye-rolls and grimaces. I took to tucking my gold cross under my shirt and taking my faith underground. In later years, when my mother was elderly and frail, I would hide my Bible upstairs in my house when she could no longer climb stairs. Upstairs was my Safe Zone, where I could be a Christian.
So I struggle mightily with this notion of being a Visible Catholic. Sometimes we refuse to display the visible signs of our faith out in public.

And if we are fearful Catholics, do we choose to anglicize our name, or refuse to give our children saints' names, fearing that our children will be marked as Catholic all their lives? Do we hide our gold crucifix inside our shirts when we leave the house, or tell people on Sunday mornings that we "have plans", rather than admitting that we go to Mass?

Do we apologize for being Catholic, by saying, "I happen to be Catholic", as if it were more an accident of birth, rather than an act of faith? And then, how do we regard the listener's backward apology to us, if he says, "Not that there is anything wrong with that"?

Lent is traditionally about retreating into solitude, into meditation, into prayer.

But it is not about hiding as Catholics.

God, may I make my faith truly Visible this Lent, as I openly and courageously re-dedicate myself to You and to Your Son!

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