The God of Peace

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or even seen in me -- put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." [Philippians 4: 6-9].

I am a world class worrier. Sometimes, I say to my family, "Tell me what is wrong, so I can worry about it!"  I am so good at worrying, that I sometimes worry about worrying!

Peace. Isn't this what we all want? Peace at the dinner table. Peace in our childrens' classrooms. Peace amongst our neighbors. Peace in the world. Peace in our hearts.

I want a peace so huge, so vast and all-encompassing that it is hard to even fathom. I want a sense of solitude and calm and quiet strength to envelope me. That is what God wants for all of us. That IS God, the peace that surpasses anything that we mere mortals can ever understand.

So if my days are so filled with anxiety, how can I get some of this peace in my own heart? I need to hold onto what is right and true, not what is unjust and wrong. I need to hold onto what is pure and noble, not what is lowly or violent or debased.  I need to hold onto what is admirable and excellent, not what is mediocre or shoddy.

To hold onto what is right, true, pure, noble, admirable and excellent can be a battle these days. There is so much violence, injustice, sin and death in the world. This is not new; it was always so.

When I think back to my earliest days as a child, I was always in this battle.

There were times that I was called a failure, but I studied even harder and worked even more, to prove them wrong. I got all A's, I graduated with honors. I held excellence in my sight.

There were times that I was told, 'Who would marry you?' But I made sure to hold what was gentle and loving and sweet in my heart. And I DID marry.

There were times that my home was anything but quiet and peaceful. But I never returned the verbal abuse that was aimed at me. I said loving things. Or I kept silent.

If there was physical danger, I left the room. Or I left the house.

If I wasn't fed a proper dinner, I ate elsewhere, at a neighbor's or in the school cafeteria.

However ugly it may have been in that house, I brought fresh flowers in from the garden to decorate my room. I tended my mother's garden, weeding her flower beds, without her asking me. Without complaint. To counter all the ugliness, I gathered loveliness.

If I heard lies about myself, or about God from their lips, I whispered the Truth to myself, under my breath.

This is a hard battle. It has been a lifelong battle. I know that I could not do this alone.

So who has been my greatest ally? God.

Sometimes, I lose sight of God. I get close to despair at all the dark things in this world. Then I remember that I survived by thinking about and striving for what is pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy. I did not wallow in what was thrown at me. I said, 'No! I have to believe in something else! I have to rise above all this! I have to move away from this, to something purer, more right!'

And if at times, I struggle to hold all these wonderful things in my mind, in the face of such ugliness, I pray. I petition God for whatever I think I need, in order to keep my eyes on Him. I always, always begin each morning of prayer with thanksgiving for my considerable blessings. I especially give thanks for everyone I have met who shows me the face of God.

God, may I look to You for whatever is pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, right, true, just and strong. May I always find peace in You!

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