Many Are Invited

"Many are invited but few are chosen". [Matthew 22: 14].

In this Scripture, Jesus tells a parable of a king who invites guests to a wedding feast for his son. The first set of guests refused to come. The next guests paid no attention and went off to field and business. The next guests abused the king's servants and killed them. Finally, the invitation was relayed to the streets, and any and all were welcomed to the feast. A man who came to the banquet refused to don the wedding garb that was provided, in order to clothe the guests in respect. The king becomes angry and casts him out.

It is then that the king concludes, "Many are invited but few are chosen."

When I read this parable, I am reminded that "the desire for God is written in the human heart."  [Catholic Cathechism].  So why do we turn away from God's open invitation?

When I was a tiny girl, my parents took  me to church. I was baptized there, I received my First Communion there. I was Confirmed in the church.

Abruptly, around the time that my grandmother died a tragic death, my parents stopped taking me to church. I was upset that they took church away. I asked to go but they refused to take me. In my child's logic, I thought that by taking church away, they could take my faith away.

I did not dare to defy my parents and walk the many miles by myself, across the busy roads through town, to my church. I also did not dare to defy my parents and ask a neighbor to take me to church.

I had physical impediments to going to church. I had spiritual impediments imposed upon me from others. The atmosphere around faith and religion were intolerant. Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God for similar reasons?

My habit of no longer going to church slowly transformed into a deep seated doubt. My parents' lack of belief settled into my spirit. Gradually, my not going to church became wondering where God was? Even wondering if there was a God? Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God out of indifference, which has grown into full fledged doubt?

When I became old enough, I left home to go to college, then to university for graduate school. I was many miles from home and miles from the religious intolerance I had lived under. I was free, theoretically, to go back to church, to explore my faith. But I was busy with friends, bogged down with trying to work for high grades, so I could become independent. Somehow, I never "got around to" finding a church. Perhaps  you have not gotten closer to God because you are preoccupied with worldly things?

After college and university, I met my husband, who is Catholic. Once we met, I started going to church with him regularly. This was the first step to drawing nearer to God. Except, just as when I was a child, I thought that God resided in church, and not in my heart! I thought it was enough to attend Sunday Masses to become closer to God. I did not know that, in addition to attending Mass, I needed to attend to my spirit. Perhaps  you are not closer to God because you are relying solely on the rituals of Mass?

Recently, my world fell apart. My best friend was diagnosed with cancer, my father died abruptly, I had to move my seriously ill mother near me and provide for her care. My best friend lost her battle with cancer. Then my mother-in-law died. Then my mother died. I lost sight of God. I honestly thought that He was gone. Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God because you are in such pain and confusion that you can no longer see Him?

Sometimes, we hit bottom spiritually. The only person we feel that we can cling to is God. IF we can find Him!

I felt like I was in a frightening storm and everything was upside down and backwards. I needed a Rock to cling to, I needed to feel like I could somehow right my world again. This is when I converted.

I finally chose a church and began the work of finding God again. Of reconciling myself to Him. This did not seem like a very good time at all. My mother, who was very suspicious of Christians in general and Catholics in particular, and who was with me on a daily basis, kept telling me that I did not "need to" go to church. She repeated her anti-religion litany as often as possible. Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God because those around you would criticize you and even persecute you?

I was at that time struggling to care for my ill mother, settle my father's estate, run my household, care for my husband and son. I would ask God, 'WHY now, God? Can't you see I'm a little overwhelmed?'
Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God because you cannot see the rationale for God's timing?

And, I felt such overwhelming fear, because I had not received the Eucharist since I was a young teen. I could not imagine walking down that long aisle to the altar to receive Communion. Perhaps you have not gotten closer to God out of fear.

Then I began to think, Who am I to convert now, when I am an adult ---a wife, a mother, AND a lapsed Christian? What would people think of me when all of a sudden, after so many years of sitting it out in the pew, I suddenly started going up to the altar to receive? Perhaps you have not become closer to God because you think that you are not worthy?

I have also struggled with the fact that I was not born Catholic. I asked several Catholics, How do you know if you are? The answer was, it is who you regard as your flock, your clan. I took me a while to feel that this was my spiritual home. Perhaps you are not closer to God because you are not sure if you belong?

Miraculously, God invites us ALL to his banquet. Yet, there are SO many impediments to our responding to God! Jesus says, "Few are chosen." But the reality is, few of us choose HIM.

I have passed through just about every impediment to accepting God's invitation: physical impossibility, denial by those in control of my life, doubt, busyness, over-reliance on ritual, blindness, pain, confusion, persecution, fear, lack of self worth, feelings of not belonging.

In my experience, few are chosen because this is a  thick jungle of obstacles to cut through, to get to God.

But, I can tell you that, when I finally went up that long aisle to receive the Eucharist, I was in tears-- tears of relief, tears of joy, tears of acceptance. All the impossibilities, the doubts, the busyness, the empty ritual without the heart of desire, the blindness, the pain, the confusion, the fear, the persecution, the lack of self worth, the feelings that I did not belong -- all were swept away in that one moment of feeling nearer to God.

I still feel that way, every time that I receive the Eucharist. In that moment, I feel that anything preventing me from coming closer to God is swept clean, swept away.

God, I pray that You clear from my heart any fear, any doubt, any pain, any confusion, any blindness, any hurt, that can keep me from You!

(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2011. All Rights Reserved.