Friday, November 18, 2011

The Least Among Us

" When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him and he will separate the sheep from the goats. . . . the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right:  'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.  . . .[But] amen I say to you, whatever you did not do for the least of my brothers, you did not do for me.' " [Matthew 25: 31- 45].

When I was a child, my parents would set before me a plate of food at dinner time. If the food was too sophisticated in taste for me, too adult in flavor, I could not eat it. But, even though there was plenty of other food in our house, I was given nothing else to eat. Not a piece of bread with butter, nor scrambled eggs, nor a bowl of cereal. I was hungry but my parents did not feed me!

Like all small children, I longed to feel loved and cherished. But no one hugged me or said, "I love you".  Instead, I was verbally abused, hit and neglected. I was thirsty for human comfort but no one gave me to drink from the well of human affection.

If I reported that I was cold, I was told that I was just complaining to gain attention, which I did not deserve. No one allowed me to go fetch a sweater from my room. The house was locked and no one gave me the key. I did not have the clothes I needed to stay warm.

When I was seven, I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disease. Treatment for this stopped when I was 14. We could afford to go to the doctor but I was no longer treated. I was sick and no one looked after me.

In this household of deprivation, I began to shut down in all ways. I hid in my room. I shut my emotions down. I stopped speaking. I gave up asking for more food at home. I tiptoed around quietly to escape notice. No one put me in prison by force, but I imprisoned myself. Yet, no one noticed that I had "disappeared". No one came to find me or to draw me out.

When I went away to university, I was the victim of a violent crime. My family did not rescue me and bring me home to heal. It was strangers who visited me, who took me in and gave me rest, who gave me meals, and allowed me to drink the milk of human kindness. I do not know what I would have done without them.

It has taken me many years to figure out how to respond to my past. I have tried to bury it--- believe me, deprivation and abuse never truly go away. You cannot wish the ugly past away. Even if you have processed it fully, it is always there.

It has hurt me deeply that I was treated this way. It hurts even more to realize who my family really was. Anyone can pretend that they love you. But the way in which someone may treat you is a very different matter. In this Reading, Love is a verb! Furthermore, whatever you do to those around you, you are doing TO Jesus.

I have had people say to me, 'Well, your family did not do this TO you". No, it is worse thatn that! This Scripture says that they were doing this TO Jesus!
I have tried many, many times over, to "confess" my family's sins. Sady, I was merely trying to "rescue" my family from their sins. After many attempts at this, a wise mentor told me that it does not work to confess the sins of another. A priest can absolve only YOU, of your own sins.

Ultimately, I have decided to respond by becoming the most loving, merciful and gentle person I can be. In other words, I respond to all the past neglect, cruelty and deprivation, by exhibiting the utmost love to others.

I allow others to drink deeply from the well of gentle affection, which I offer freely to all.

I reach out to those who are in their own personal prisons--- dark, lonely places of grief, of hurt, of despair.

I gather food, to give to those who have less.

Recently, in a kind of poetic justice, I gave away one of my own sweaters, to someone who needed it far more than I. This sweater came to me as a lovely gift, but it did not fit and it did not suit me. I put it aside. I kept asking God, "This sweater is not 'mine'. Whose is it?"

There is a wonderful lady in my life, who comes each week to help me around the house. One day, I showed her the sweater. It was still in the gift box with the ribbons and tags. I insisted that she try it on. The sweater fit like it was made for her. God had showed me that this was "her" sweater, not mine.

So I gave the sweater to her with a joyful heart. She cried when I handed her the box. She clutched the sweater between her hands and cried, "Happy! Happy!" I cried too. I had come full circle!  I had started out cold and rejected, with no sweater; but I had ended up joyfully giving away my birthday present.

How carefree it is to love the easy people in our life! How much more of a risk does it take to love "the least among us"? By loving others--- even those living life "on the edge", even those we would otherwise barely notice-- we are loving Christ!

And so, I have come full circle. In response to the hate and neglect and cruelty in my past, I have responded instead, as a matter of belief, with love, mercy and gentleness. In responding with love, I am rescuing myself from a life of re-living, and passing along, that hatred and cruelty. As I rescue myself from a continued life of pain, I am rescuing others out of love. I am becoming a follower of Christ.
Lord, let me love everyone around me, as much as I love You, with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind!

(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2011. All Rights Reserved.

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