New Year, New Me

" Brothers and sisters: Put on, as God's Chosen Ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these, put on Love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called one body. And be thankful!  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly." -[Colossians 3: 12-21].


Another New Year has come. We look back and the view is dim and disappointing. We look ahead, and the view is uncertain, even frightening.

Then, there is the annual pressure to remake ourselves, as if the turning of the calendar page requires, absolutely, a totally transformed self.

When I was a child, I was called ugly everyday. If I got a cavity in a tooth, I was called "Rotten Tooth". If my tormentor noticed my eyeglasses, I was called " Four Eyes." When I got braces to straighten my teeth, I was called "Crooked Teeth." When I got some teen acne, I was called " Pimple Face." Sometimes, these taunts were punctuated by physical punches. And this was all from my own family.

It is awfully hard not to internalize these taunts. My mother would tell me that I was being "too sensitive" over these verbal taunt. But, I could  not help crying bitter tears.

Her telling me that I was "too sensitive" only made me believe that all the taunts were true!

Today, I look in the mirror and I see only flaws-- the tiny fine lines developing around my mouth. A stray gray hair curling up all gnarly and unruly. I run to the mirror to pluck it out. My nose, too fine, too long, and uneven. I remember being called "Eagle Beak."

I am likely seeing things that no one else even notices today. But since the taunts were punctuated by physical hurt, what I notice only places me back in that place of fear. No, I am not vain. I am afraid that my (tiny) flaws will get me noticed and hurt again.

Then, I read this Scripture. HOW anyone as flawed and faulty as I am can be called "Chosen One" is a true mystery! But, also a great gift!

I really AM flawed. (Hint: We ALL are!) No matter how many times someone tells me that I am beautiful, beloved, a gift, Chosen, etc., I do not believe it. I really have to work at this!

What have I done to deserve these accolades? Well, nothing, really. I simply am God's daughter.

I feel so useless, so empty. There must be more to it than that? Beauty must be more than the right shade of lipstick, the special color of the year, the thick hair not yet gray. . .

This Scripture tells us to, "Put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness. Over these, put on Love, the bond of perfection. Let the peace of Christ control your hearts. Be thankful."

I have seen in my life lately that you cannot be thankful and unhappy at the same time! I am practicing Gratitude.

When I have a difficult moment, maybe when someone is cross with me, accuses me unfairly, acts selfishly, I pause and take some deep breaths. I "put on" compassion, peace, Love, patience, and so forth.

Notice that these do not flow readily from me! - (or anyone). It is a moment of suspended animation, where I breathe and wait in silence. I bid those peaceful and loving thoughts to come. It may take a determined effort to say the opposite of what I am really feeling at the moment.

But, I wait for the kindness, the gentleness, the humility, in the same way that we all wait for Spring to come. You know that this sweetness and gentleness is there, you just have to slow down and wait a bit. The gentle Spring always comes.

When I "put on" these glorious attributes, people say that I have a glow about me. That is the beauty in me! But the beauty is not from the sweater that I am wearing, the great hairstyle or a slim physique.

That beauty is not even about me at all! That beauty is God Himself, shining through me-- as Love, humility, gentleness, etc.

So, if you want a New You, New Year, you need a new wardrobe-- of Love, patience, Peace and gratitude. Put these on, and Christ will dwell in you richly!

[Related Postings: "A New Year!, 1/5/11; "A New Year", 12/30/11; "My Year in Words", 1/5/12; "My New Year's Resolutions", 12/26/12;   "New Year, New World", 1/1/15].

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