Feed Me

" Together were Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymas, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, Zebedee's sons and two other of His disciples.
Simon Peter said to them, 'I am going fishing.'  They said to him, 'We also will come with you.'  So they went and got into the boat, but that night, they caught nothing.  When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore; but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.  Jesus said to them, 'Children, have you caught anything to eat?'
They answered Him, 'No.'
So He said to them, 'Cast the net over the right side of the boat and you will find something.'
So they cast it, and were not able to pull it in because of the number of fish.
So the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord.'
When they climbed out on shore, they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread. Jesus said to them, 'Bring some fish you just caught.'
So Simon Peter went over and dragged the net ashore full of one hundred fifty-three large fish. Even though there were so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Do you love me more than these?'
Simon Peter answered Him, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.'
Jesus said to him, 'Feed my lambs.'
He then said to Simon Peter a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?'
Simon Peter answered Him, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.'
Jesus said to him, 'Tend my sheep.'
Jesus said to him the third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?'
and he said to Him, 'Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.'
Jesus said to him, 'Feed my sheep.' " --[John 21:1-19.

My great grandfather was the captain of a fishing vessel, in the coldest waters of North America.  He navigated the sailing schooner by sight of the constellations, setting forth as soon as the ice melted in the spring. He and his crew did not return until mid-December when the ice was forming on the windows of his family's home.

He and his men ate fish on board, and hard biscuits called "tack'. He paid his men in fish. He paid his bills in fish. Fish were their livelihood. Fish WERE life.

He and his fishermen faced many days of rough weather, sometimes catching no fish at all.  Sometimes, they came back to port with few fish. Sometimes, they came back to port, missing a few men.

The fishermen developed many superstitions to "keep them safe" -- never sailing on a Friday, and certainly not a Friday the 13th, since that is the day Jesus was crucified. Never even saying the numeral 13, but saying "12+1". Naming their vessel after a woman, said to be good luck. Never christening the vessel with a name of thirteen letters.

Because of my family history, I can feel in my heart the danger and the risk that these men were feeling as sailors and fishermen.

Strikingly, in this Scripture, though, the fishermen/disciples come to rely, not on superstitions, nor on only themselves, but on Jesus. Not only is there fish waiting for them already cooked on shore, but Jesus has ensured that their net is filled to overflowing.

In so many parables in the Bible, Jesus feeds His beloved people: I think of the multiplication of loaves to feed five thousand; the water turned into wine at Cana; the parable of the great dinner for the poor and for those enslaved and crippled, all gathered in to the feast.

This scene of Jesus cooking His disciples the fish and bread reminds me of the Greatest Meal of All, the Last Supper, and our Eucharist even today.

This feeding of US is not a "one-way street", however. Jesus says, "If you love me, feed my lambs."

You know that I came from a household that was rich in provisions, but poor in spirit. I was sometimes not fed and had to go out finding food for myself. No one ever hugged me or said, "I love you" -- and no one showed it either.  I received black eyes, I was told, "Stop crying, you are not hurt."

But, even so-- or maybe because of this-- I remember every kindness shown to me:

The frail and poor widow in my neighborhood who would give me bread and butter, and a glass of milk for a snack. She never hesitated to give me another slice of bread from her own pantry, if she noticed me ravenously eating the first one.

The little girl's mom who let me swim in their home pool, then gave me hot chicken soup to warm up.

The neighbor who gave me a ride from school, when I was walking home alone in the pouring rain.

The Jewish teacher who made a special request that I help her decorate the classroom Christmas tree after school. Then, she let me pick a glittering trinket out of her prize box. I felt so special to be chosen that day!

The entire classroom of students who clapped for me, after I read a poem -- when at that time, I had largely stopped speaking.

The librarian who told me that I had a beautiful smile-- when I was called ugly every day.

Jesus feeds us in SO many ways-- answering our prayers for health;  drawing near to us for spiritual comfort; feeding our spirit in the Eucharist so that we may enjoy another week of His Peace in our hearts.

I decided not to go "back to Galilee"-- in other words, I decided not to regress and wallow in the fruitless harvest of my own family.

If Jesus feeds us in so many miraculous ways, the very LEAST we can do is to feed others. . .

I do not just mean literally donating to the local food pantry or sharing our bounty of food with the lonely widow.

I also mean feeding others' souls with kindness, joy and love.

Sometimes, I think that we are such fierce individualists, that we forget what it is to be connected in a personal way.  We forget that we need each other AND we need Jesus. Jesus reminds us in this Scripture that we belong to Him AND to each other.

We say, "How are you?" -- but we don't necessarily want to hear the answer.  We no longer place such vital importance on sharing a meal or breaking bread together. We become estranged from family--- sometimes, we even forget why? We call someone "friend", but we have not been in the same room for over thirty years.

Today, I "feed" everyone: hugging members of my church; dropping off flowers or produce at a neighbor's house, just because; giving a wonderful friend the gift that I had at first bought for myself; not just sharing a recipe with a neighbor, but buying her the ingredients; picking one friend out of my contacts list each day and sending her a note of encouragement; making my husband his favorite meal, or fixing his coffee just right; thanking the cook behind the counter who prepared my meal.

When we DO lovingly feed each other, we honor Jesus. We love each other, as He loved us.  We love our neighbors, as ourselves. We understand that Love is the greatest command of all.

When we nurture others, we recognize the Christ in everyone. "Feed my lambs".

[Related postings: "Fishing Manual", Jan. 24, 2014; "The Kindness of Strangers", July 5, 2013; "Do You Love Me?", April 4, 2013.].

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