Taught By God

" Brothers and sisters:  All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, as God has forgiven you. . . So be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us." [Ephesians 4: 30 - 5:2].

It is very hard, almost impossible, for us humans to completely give up on anger. Anger is hard-wired into us.  I say this because we are wired as mammals to react to a threat or conflict, with a "fight or flight" response. The flight response is fear. The fight response is prompted by fear, but ends up becoming anger, and presents as a heated battle.

Martin Luther King, Jr., in his critical book, "Strength To Love", [Fortress Press, (c) 1963], writes that "Fear is the elemental alarm system of the human organism that warns of approaching danger and without which man could not have survived. So in a sense, fear is normal, necessary and creative." Later in the same chapter, King writes that fear can become anger, even hatred-- "Close scrutiny reveals this sequence: first fear, then hate, then war, and finally, deeper hatred."

I say that anger is innate, because one of my earliest memories is of anger.  When I was about age two, I had awoken from my nap in my crib. My mother came into my room to free me, and my brother followed her into my room.  My brother was taking so much of her attention, that I was ignored. I was pre-verbal, so I threw my silver baby rattle across the room to get my mother's attention.

Then, when I was about age three, I was at my grandparents' house on a Sunday afternoon. My older brother had been teasing me for what seemed all day long. I had had enough, so I threw a wooden  bowl of nuts at his head. All of the grown-ups in the room gasped.

Life seemed to be ugly for me. At age four, I almost drowned in a neighbor's pool. At age five, I was putting myself down for naps. I was also looking for alternate sources of food when I was not fed. At age six, I came home and my mother had given the family dog away. At age seven, I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disease. I was getting hit, and called ugly every day. I had black eyes several times. By age ten, I had stopped speaking.

You would think that I would have adopted anger as a mode of existence. Early on, though, as the baby in the family and the only daughter, I realized that I had no power. Anger would only make me more conspicuous, and more in danger of further abuse.

Anger dissipates one's energy as well. I needed my energy in order to take care of myself. In short, anger is not a very wise survival skill.

I think of anger as a huge truck that is stuck in the mud, spinning its wheels. The engine revs impressively, the tires squeal, you feel tremendous power, but in fact, one is wasting valuable energy, and only digging deeper into the mud.

No one ever hugged me or said, 'I love you' to me, when I was growing up. I decided: If I was ever going to enjoy peace in that house, or feel any kind of love, I was going to have to be the one to make peace and give love. I started tending to my mother's gardening, doing all the mending and sewing in the house, taking on some painting projects for my father. I did this, even as my family continued to treat me cruelly.

So many ask me, how could I possibly have survived in that environment? I would say that, as a child, I simply chose Love over anger. I decided to "live in love".  I was only a child; I cannot take all the credit for myself. I credit this desire for Love as God's grace.

Oddly, I never prayed for different circumstances, or better parents.  I simply determined that even if no one else in my life knew how to love, then I could show love, no matter what my circumstances, no matter what the response.

Anger hardens your heart. It is NOT the Bread of Life. Anger closes you to God.

Love opened me to God. With my heart longing for Love, I was, in essence, longing for God. With my heart open to Love, I was able to be taught by God.  From God, from Love, I learned generosity, patience, gentleness, humility, peace, compassion, charity, mercy, justice, forgiveness.

 I take great comfort from the words in John 6: 41-51-- Jesus says, " It is written in the prophets: 'They shall all be taught by God.'  Everyone who listens to my Father and learns from Him comes to me."

So many think that following Christ means that we have to be perfect. Not true! Being a Christian means listening to God, desiring Love and believing in the capacity of Love to change one's world!

[Related Postings: " Bread of Life", and "Anger in the Temple".]

(c) The Spiritual Devotional, 2012. All Rights Reserved.