Alone And Broken

" The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a suitable partner.' Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.' For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.' " [Genesis 2: 18-24].

"So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined, let no one cast asunder." [Mark 10: 8-9].

Today, marriage has become most unpopular. Among the American white working class, marriage is down 36%. Barely half in this group marries at all. Studies show that young people do not buy houses or purchase cars either.

What is this aversion to commitment? Do we believe that marriage is too constricting? Do we believe that a life shared is a life less fulfilling?

I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family. Given my experiences, I never should have been able to get married. And yet I did.

I arrived at adulthood truly broken. In reaction to the dysfunction and abuse in my home growing up, I gradually shut down. First, I stopped showing emotion. Then, I stopped feeling emotion. Nothing changed in my family home. So, I stopped speaking. I began to stay awake at night, keeping vigil until everyone was asleep. I all but stopped eating. My chronic lung disease was not treated past the age of 14. I began to have difficulty breathing.  I wanted to be invisible. I became an empty shell.

Then I met the man who would be my husband. Our first conversation was excruciating. He asked questions. I gave one word answers. But on our first date, he came by my place to pick me up. We never ended up doing anything or going anywhere. We just talked. We talked for hours! I was speaking again.

On our dates, we often went out to a restaurant. We shared meals together. I was eating again.

As I got to know this man who would become my husband, my partner for life, I began to be filled with emotion. This was the person who, for the first time in my life, told me, "I love you!" As I got to know this man who would become my husband, my partner for life, I began to be filled with emotion. I thought I would never trust any human being again. But gradually, my heart softened. Soon, my heart leaped, and I was filled with joy. I was feeling again.

After we got married, my nightly bad dreams continued. But I never had to sleep alone and fear the dark again. I was sleeping again.

My lung disease has not been cured. But I am receiving medical treatment. Today, I still tire easily. If my husband notices my fatigue, he pats the seat next to him and urges me to sit down. I am breathing much better now.

My family deeply distrusted this man in my life. It was a huge detriment in their eyes that he is a committed Christian and a Catholic. Whenever my husband was not in earshot, the family criticized him bitterly-- to my face.

After my husband and I got married, we became One. In criticizing my husband, my family was criticizing ME. If anyone hurts my husband, I hurt too. This is the meaning of, "Let no man cast them asunder." In the face of this barrage against my husband, we only became even more united. No one can divide and conquer us!

And so, I cannot understand this recent notion that marriage is too constricting or confining. To the contrary, my marriage has set me free! My husband -- and my marriage-- saved my life!!

My husband is healing my profound brokenness. I am no longer an empty shell. I am a living, breathing, feeling, loving person.

Why is this kind of love so freeing? Because God's Love saves us, all of us who are broken simply by virtue of being human.

" If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is brought to perfection in us." [ 1 John 4: 12].

(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2012. All Rights Reserved.