Garden of Faith

" A farmer went out to sow his seed. Some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among the thorns, which gew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop - a hundred times what was sown." [ Matthew 13: 1-9].

Jesus was a master story teller, wasn't he? Think about it, farming and gardening were commonplace in ancient times, when people were so much closer to the land. Even today, almost all of us can relate to the hard work, but attending joys, of a garden.

Jesus speaks of a garden as a metaphor of our Faith.

Through years of struggling over my faith, I have learned that my faith will not live and grow if I do not tend to it carefully. Just as the farmer must avoid planting in a place with no soil, or avoid planting in rocky soil, or amongst thorns, so I need to seek rich soil for my faith -- or it will die!

As a child, I was taken to church, but it was a church where people were mostly concerned with congregating with the Right People. The women wore their Sunday best, silky dresses with fur coats, jewels, fancy stockings. The men wore expensive suits, silk ties, their best leather shoes.

The people seemed dressed to impress, dressed for success. If parishioners like that treat church as merely an entree into Acceptable Society, are they truly nurturing their faith? Or are they more concerned with their status and wealth?

Perhaps they are like the one that Jesus describes when He says in Matthew 13: 22 -- "The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful."

At 14, my family no longer took me to church. I had been baptized, received my First Communion and been Confirmed. Church was now something that we had "accomplished". At that point in my life, I was making good grades in school, everything seemed to be going well. I had loved going to church, but if I asked my family to go, I was told, 'No, we already did that.' [?!!]. Being a young teen, I had to accept my family's answer; I was not independent enough to challenge that.

Without church and an active faith, without the practice of prayer, the joy of the Eucharist, the peace that comes from God, I became subject to every twist, turn and whim in my young life. With only 14 years of a very shallow faith, when life got difficult, I had no faith to draw upon. If things did not go my way, I could get angry; fall into despair; try to "make things happen" on my own, then get frustrated when nothing happened. I was lost, without knowing it. All I knew was that I seemed to have no anchor.

In short, I was like the one Jesus describes in Matthew 13: 20-21. --"The one who receives the seed that fell on rocky places is the one who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes, he quickly falls away."

Recently, I finally reached a point in my life where "trouble and persecution" were overwhelming me. My father had died unexpectedly, my best friend was terminally ill (and ended up passing away), I was caring for my frail, elderly mother; in short it felt like my world was falling in on me.

It began to dawn on me --I needed my faith back. I gradually came to see that I had not tended my faith in decades. And it showed. I was confused, unfocused, overwhelmed, in despair. I suddenly realized that God "was gone". I panicked.

I began to take tending my faith much more seriously. I got to work on my faith immediately by meditating and praying daily. I knew I finally had to take a stand and choose a church. When I received the Eucharist for the first time in decades, I finally felt more real joy than I had in a long time.

But I became all too aware that although I had a much stronger faith, I knew almost nothing. In matters of faith education, I was frozen in time, still that 14 year old girl who had stopped attending church so many decades earlier.

I was like the one Jesus describes in Matthew 13: 19-- "When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart."

Our faith may be strong in our hearts.  But without any understanding of the Word in an intellectual sense -- in our heads-- it is all too easy to lose our way. As I returned faithfully to Mass, I realized that I did not know the Sermon on the Mount from the Ten Commandments; I did not know Pontius Pilate from Judas.  I felt so  ignorant, so foolish. What kind of Christian would I be if I did not try to study the stories in the Bible, or work on absorbing our shared history and the deep meaning of our sacraments? I decided to sign up for Bible Study, so that my faith will be not only deeply felt, but also comprehended in a meaningful way? 

Now, I know that I want to be the one who "received the seed that fell on good soil, . . . who hears the Word AND understands it. He produces a [rich] crop." [Matthew 13:22]

God, I pray that my faith stays strong, that I continue to nurture a deeply rooted relationship with You, and that I hold You close to my heart through Your Word.

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