"The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream at night. God said, 'Ask something of me and I will give it to you.' Solomon answered, 'O lord, my God, You have made me, your servant, King to succeed my father David; but I am a mere youth, not knowing at all how to act. . . . Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong.' The Lord was pleased that Solomon make this request. So God said to him: 'Because you have asked for this-- not a long life for yourself, not for riches, nor the life of your enemies, but for understanding so that you may know what is right, I do as you requested. I give you a heart so wise and understanding that there has never been anyone like you up to now; and, after, there will come no one equal to you". [ I Kings 3: 5, 7-12].
I read this Scripture and I reflect upon the things that I pray for lately. So many times, my prayer life consists of complaining to God about how sad or discouraged I am! I ask God to make my son do his homework! Or I ask God to inspire my spouse to lose a little weight or to be more helpful around the house. Certainly, God is there for us at all times and for all reasons.
But this Scripture also reminds me of a time when my prayers were much more impassioned, more desperate.
You see, when I was in graduate school, I was the victim of a horrible crime. I am blessed to be alive today.
My dysfunctional family told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was to stay in school, or I would be a failure. No matter that I was so bruised and beaten that I could barely get out of bed. No matter that I was too terrified to stay in my apartment for fear that the guy would come back and finish me off. No matter that I was too battered emotionally and physically to focus on making a meal, let alone trying to study.
I remember so clearly sitting in my student apartment, sobbing, wondering how on earth I had gotten myself in this position? I did not know how I was going to be able to stay in school-- but I also knew that going home was not an option.
Suddenly, I began to pray! I was in my early 20's. I had not been to church since I was about 14, when my family stopped taking me to services. Prayer did not come naturally. And yet, I prayed.
You would think that I would have prayed for someone to punish my family for abandoning me. You would think that I would have prayed to land a lucrative job and become so rich, I would not need them any longer. You would think that I would have prayed that God send people to help me. Certainly, you would think that I would have prayed for healing in all ways.
Instead, what I prayed for was Wisdom! All I wanted to know was what kind of family would leave their daughter at a time like this? My prayer was sincere. All I wanted was to understand.
In those days, I did not even know who Solomon was. Decades later, I learned that I had prayed the Prayer of Solomon! I thought, Wow! How did I know to do that?!
I believe in my heart that this was a case of being showered with the gift of the grace of God. I have always had a very hard time understanding what God's grace means? But here was the clearest example. I needed God's protection, where no human protection was available. I was a mess, fully human, fragile, battered. My heart went out to God, asking, WHY, God, why?
And His heart went out to mine! I am still on the journey to seeking that wisdom.
But suffice it to say, His love and grace were with me at the time of my prayer. I did finish graduate school. Top half of my class! Many, many fellow students, and professors, came forward to help me. They supported me academically, they made sure that I did not give up.
How often today do we see people who desire only fame, fortune, power? When do we ever hear of people who simply strive to know the Truth, who want only to do the right thing?
God, I pray for Your grace to help me to see with Wisdom, to act with knowledge of Your ways, and to love others with compassion and understanding.
(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2011. All Rights Reserved.
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