Boast in the Lord

" When I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a great reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. What then, is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel, I may offer it free of charge, and so not make use of my rights [of monetary recompense] in preaching it. To the weak, I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that by all possible means, I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." [1 Corinthians 9: 16-23].

 Like St. Paul in this Scripture, I cannot boast. Everything I have, I have received as a free gift from God. Every breath is from God, my very life is from God. My deep, dark eyes and the crinkles around my eyes when I laugh, are from God. My heart loves my dear ones on earth; but in the end, my heart belongs to God.

My literary abilities are from God. Yet I have honed them over many years of hardship, holed away in my childhood room, hiding from humanity. I lavished my attention on my schoowork, so that I could understand the ways of the world.

When my homework was done, I read every book I could lay my hands on.  And when I had read every book at hand, I read the dictionary, beginning with the letter 'A'.

I used to be taunted by family and friends. They would say that I was "too smart". My intelligence came from God. I never understood why anyone would torment me for something that is a gift from God. Were they taunting God?

Now I speak the gospel in this space. I speak the Truth. I am compelled to speak the Truth, as a counterbalance to all the lies that were told about me. I was told that there is no God, or that if you had any talent at all, you did not need God. These are lies.

I was told that I am ugly, and a failure. I pray that these are lies, because God makes no mistakes. He made me the way I am. I may not be beautiful in an earthly sense, or successful the way we humans measure it. He made me the way I am on purpose. He loves me even though I am so very human and imperfect.

I do not charge anything for the meditations in this space. God is for everyone. His Word is free, to all who would listen.

And yet, writing in this space is not a burden. I do not require any earthly recompense. If I were paid as much as a million dollars for my writing, I would give it all away. Why? In receiving God's love and grace, I have already reaped untold riches. Not in any material sense, but in the sacred way in which I have developed a personal relationship with God. He encourages me and strengthens me in my daily walk.

St. Paul declares that he is all things to all people, so that he may save some. I am not so chameleon-like, nor so seemingly opportunistic. But as a child, I made myself Nothing so that no enemy could vanquish me. Being Nothing, I became universal. I belonged to no one and everyone.

At times, I have been so alone that I have counted no one as a friend. I have stared death in the face many times, and yet I lived. I have narrowly escaped trees falling on me, I have nearly drowned, I have struggled under a violent assault. I have had only a few dollars left to my name before I was paid again. I have eaten humbly of rice and beans for dinner.

But I have been comfortable in life, yet at the same time miserable. I have lived in a household of plenty yet, felt that I was in danger of losing my soul.

I have been weak, as you have been. But God sees my weakness and He lifts me up, He consoles the broken-hearted. He has made me strong, strong enough to break my silence and tell my story.

I desire only for the Holy Spirit to infuse my words with comfort and hope. I serve others here, I do not serve myself. Some have said to me that I will become famous, sought the world over. In truth, I detest the thought. I am only the Medium, I do not want to be the Message. I speak only as a lone voice, crying out. But I do not want my name to be known.

It is the Word that I want to be known. If you find God from entering this meditational space, then I have obeyed my calling, I have shared my holy blessings.

Love to all,  The Spiritual Devotional

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