A Life Divided

" I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-- how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how he can please his wife-- and his interests are divided. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way, in undivided devotion to the Lord." [1 Corinthians 7: 32-35].

This Scripture from St. Paul speaks to a time when early Christians thought that Judgment Day was imminent. They believed that Christ's Second Coming was going to happen soon --and that they had better be prepared. St. Paul urges his followers to be ready, by spending more time devoted to God.

This is a classic Christian dilemma: how to be in this world, but not "of this world"? We do live firmly rooted here on earth, and, being human, we are buffeted in all directions. We try to make a living, to raise our children, gather around for meals, embrace (or shun) the constant barrage of media, steal away some time for rest --and yet still, we must find time for  God. It is a divided time for us. This Scripture asks, 'What divides you from God?'

Unfortunately, this is not the only division that poses a challenge for us. Author Charles Murray in his new book, "Coming Apart" talks about how there is a widening cultural divide in America, between the elite and the working class.

Murray talks in his book about cultural divisions between working class whites and upper middle class whites, such as the widening divergence of what these distinct classes choose to watch on television, to eat for breakfast, or even where they choose to travel on vacation.

But to me, the most disturbing data in his book come from the General Social Survey, which shows in recent decades that marriage is down 36%, and that secularism (pointing to those who "profess no religion, or attend a worship service no more that once a year") has increased 21%. Frankly,these data scare me because if we do not have intimate human connections, and our deep faith, what do we have?

So, instead of asking, like Charles Murray, what divides us, I would like to ask, "What unites us?"

I am not a sociologist nor a political scientist nor an anthropologist. I can only speak to my own experiences. I can only speak to what has saved me.

I can say that when I was growing up, life was rough for me. I could not count on being fed consistently, being warm enough, or feeling safe. No one hugged me or said that they loved me. I grew to distrust people. Humanity did not save me. We stopped going to church when I was 14. I thought people got faith by going to church, so I was afraid that I had lost my faith. My faith could not save me, because I thought it was gone.

When I left home at age 18 to attend university, I found the saving grace of an education. I realized that I was given gifts, and I was given the opportunity to exercise them. Education saved me. Education, and knowledge of our incredible world, can save us, and unite us.

After I graduated from university and graduate school, I lived on my own in a big city. I threw myself into my work. I thought that my work would save me. But I ended up exhausted and lonely. My education could help me understand my world, but work alone was not enough to save me.

It was then that I met the man who would become my husband. I truly believe that God sent him to rescue me. I learned the saving power of Love. If someone truly loves you, then you have the courage to love others. We must learn to trust getting married again. Committed Love unites us.

My husband and I became parents. My son is everything to me. All children are precious to me. Every time I am out in town or in church, and I see a baby, I smile at the baby and at the parents. The smile for the baby is one of delight. The smile for the parents is a "knowing", the common bond of joy and hope for the future. Our children unite us.

Not too long ago, in a space of two years, I lost my father, my best friend, my mother-in-law and my mother. No, I refuse to say that our sadness unites us! I would rather say that our faith unites us. I thought my faith was gone, but kindly Christians showed me that my faith, although dormant, was still very much alive.

 I have been cold and hungry. I have almost died many times. I have been alone and in despair. I have asked myself What is this life all about? I have had to rebuild my life over several times. Each time, I have asked myself, "What do I have to hold onto?" No, it is not money or possessions. My work and gifts alone cannot save me, although they do give me purpose.

I have learned that all we really have is God -- and each other. If we do not have those, we have lost our souls. We have lost everything.

God, You have saved me through your Love. My faith in You saves me. My love for You and for others is my Salvation.

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