The Porous Veil

" Two disciples got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the other disciples. They told how Jesus was made known to them in the breaking of the bread. Jesus himself stood among them and said to them. "Peace be with you." They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, 'Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?  Look at my hands and feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.' As he said this, he showed them his hands and feet. While they were still incredulous for joy and were amazed, he asked them, 'Have you anything to eat?' They gave him a piece of baked fish; he took it and ate it in front of him. [Luke 24: 33-42].

In this Scripture, Jesus appears to His disciples after His death. The disciples are "startled and terrified, thinking they saw a ghost." But a ghost does not eat. They were "incredulous for joy and amazed." As if to calm them, Jesus says, "Peace be with you!"

How else to prove His Resurrection, than to appear in bodily form to the disciples, after His Crucifixion? How else to  to prove this, than to show them His wounds on His hands and feet, the way that the disciples remembered, on that awful day of His dying on the cross. There He was, appearing before them.  And not only that, He ate with them.

The phrase, "Peace be with you!" is uttered by all of us immediately before we receive the Eucharist. Like the disciples, we recognize Jesus in the breaking of the bread together, in the sharing of the meal.

We also recognize Him in his wounds. How many of you, like me, gaze upon the Crucifix, as we kneel and wait our turn to proceed down the aisle to Communion?

It is written in Mark 15: 37-38, that when Jesus died, " With a loud cry, Jesus breathed His last. [Then] the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom." This curtain was the barrier outside the Most Holy Place, where once a year, a High Priest came to spill sacrificial blood on the altar, to cleanse the people of their sins.

After Jesus died, this curtain was rent from top to bottom. By Jesus' death, this barrier between the ordinary people and The Most Holy Place, the place reserved for only God, was gone!

Week after week, when I go to Mass, I can feel this Veil tumble down. I am in God's presence, in God's place. I give this one hour of myself to Him, to praying to Him, to singing to Him, to receiving the body and blood of Christ.

When the doors of the church slam behind me on Sundays, I always worry that I leave God behind. Certainly, it is difficult to retain that feeling of complete peace that I get from going to Mass. I know that God never leaves, me; but do I leave God?

During my conversion was the only time in my life that I began to consistently speak to God, outside of church. When I started to "get answers", I ran to one of my pastors and said, " Okay, I am really spooked right now." He chuckled and said, "Oh, you will get used to it."

I did get used to it! I essentially depend on remaining connected to God, not just on Sundays, but all days. I feel God's presence at so many moments of the day, reminding me of His Grace, reassuring me that He is with me always. I once said this to someone, as if trying to measure how spooked I should be; and they said, 'Lucky you!'

 My last trip to the place where my mother-in-law died, I stayed about a week with a relative. Finally on the last day, I complained to God, "I feel so sad!" Then I mused, I wonder if I will see a butterfly? I really need to see a butterfly. I was walking out to go for a walk and I looked up and saw a butterfly! Is this a symbol of the Transformation that Jesus went through, the hope of His Resurrection? All I know is that I went for my walk with a huge smile on my face!

I am trying to figure out how to feel this special in God's presence all the time. The disciples give me a clue: To touch and see Jesus' wounds. In the simplest possible sense, this means to meditate upon the Cross.

Another clue: the way in which the disciples share a meal with Jesus. In today's world this means, breaking and sharing the bread at the Eucharist.

And finally, it is to truly feel the awe, the amazement and the incredulous joy that come from recognizing that Jesus still lives  -- in all of us! Every time I receive the Eucharist, I cry. Every time! I am overwhelmed. Confused. Incredibly joyful!

No, not terrified, for I have become used to the presence of the Supernatural in my life. But it never gets any less awesome to me, to feel the presence of God. The barrier between myself and the Realm of God has become a porous veil.  Jesus' loving sacrifice has opened the way for us to become closer to God in our daily lives.

Jesus, I am overjoyed and in awe at the recognition of You in my life! I pray that I aways feel Your love and the presence of Your Father throughout my days.

[Related posting: "Transfiguration of Christ", March 5, 2012].

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