Cafeteria Catholics

"Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." [Romans 12: 9, 211].

For so many years, I thought that I could never become Catholic. It was not just my family's prejudice, their stark unwillingness to stand in the receiving line at my wedding to my Irish Catholic husband; or to even enter my in-laws' house. No, that was hard enough.

Or maybe I thought that it was good enough for me to simply attend Mass but not to actually sign up as an official parishioner. I was present, wasn't I? I listened to the homilies.

Then there were the "Rules". The Commandments, like "Thou shalt not kill". Child's play?!

Uhhh. Maybe not.

I asked a mom I knew, "How DO you live with being a Catholic? " She said, Oh, it's called a Cafeteria Catholic. You pick the rules you like. And leave the rest.

Whoaa! Somehow, I do not think that God or Jesus meant for us to indulge in that half-hearted, selective, personally convenient way of thinking!

Are you a Catholic who says,  "Well, all life is precious. The unborn have a right to be given life. After all millions of unborn babies have been killed. BUT if an adult commits a heinous crime, he deserves to die"---?

Some Catholics have argued that it is more important to save the millions of people suffering from hunger, than it is to save the lives of a few hundred prisoners on death row.

Perhaps you proclaim yourself solidly against sexual abuse but when it comes right down to it, you do not support a victim's ability to bring a case to court because,  most of the time, the victims' story is "unreliable." All "those people" want is money anyway, right?

Maybe you agree that hate is murder of the soul and that child abuse is a form of hate. But you find yourself verbally abusing your child for forgetting his homework, telling him that he is an idiot? Or when he gets cranky and cries, you tell him, Thanks  for ruining my life!

Maybe you subscribe to Jesus' teaching that we love one another from the heart, but when it comes to gays in the military or in your church, you are not so sure if they have a place in either of these institutions, or anywhere at all ?

It is extremely difficult to be a Catholic. People seem to assume that we are all homogeneous, blind believers in what Jesus teaches. In what the Catholic church teaches. Outsiders often hate us for this. We can come across as demagogues. Fanatics. Sometimes I think that we Catholics even hate each other over these debates.

But what makes us uniquely human is: 1) our gift of language and our ability to debate; 2) our compassion and sensitivity to one another and 3) the ability to evolve and change our minds.

God truly meant for us to change and grow, as we deepen our faith and our relationship with Him.

In my own case, my destiny in becoming a mother was by no means assured. It was only after the birth of my son  that I truly understood my stance against abortion. I went from instinctively pro-life, to deeply and emotionally in awe at the miracle of life.

The teachings of Jesus are radical, and often extremely challenging to follow. I cannot always, in my human-ness, measure up. But each day, I strive to learn, to evolve, to emulate Jesus ever more closely.

It is more important to me to keep stumbling and pick myself up endlessly, than to give up on being a follower of Jesus.

It is more important to keep gently conversing with others about Jesus' teachings, than to exclude other Catholics who do not see things the same way.

I think that Jesus meant us to teach and help each other in this journey. Not to drop each other by the wayside if a member of the flock struggles. Or become so divided that we are not even a church any longer.

God, we are one flock but we are not all the same. Help me to love and grow with You!

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