Seeking Happiness

"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil. . . .He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. [For] who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed." [1 Peter: 8-13].

January is coming to an end. We have made our New Year's Resolutions, and being fully human, we have probably broken our resolutions many times already!

I believe that our New Year's Resolutions are all about seeking happiness. Maybe we decided that if only we could lose those extra pounds, we would be happy. Or maybe we decided that if only we could really stick to an exercise routine, we would be happy; but we punish ourselves if we miss a day at the gym. Or maybe, we ponder, happiness comes in saving a lot of money and becoming rich?

Certainly, these are valid goals, to eat a more healthful diet, to be more active, to become a wiser steward of our finances. But accomplishing these goals will not guarantee happiness. We can grab all the luxuries that life has to offer and still be miserable.

After all, I once told a friend about a man who has a wife, two children, three dogs, two houses and five cars. This friend quipped, "Oh, yeah?! Is he happy yet?" [Umm, no].

Happiness is elusive. We are human, and a gloomy, rainy day, or a rotten day at work, can send our mood plummeting. I believe that happiness is relative, though; it depends far more on gratitude than on a longing for what we lack.

Consider the happiness theory of Abraham Maslow, famous creator of the Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. Before we can truly seek happiness (fulfillment, self-actualization, creativity, acceptance), we all need to meet basic human needs. The most basic of needs, at the  very foundation of our happiness pyramid, he labels "Physiological" -- breathing, food, sleep, emotional and physical stability. Next comes "Safety"-- physical safety, resources, health. Next comes, "Love"-- belonging, family, friends. Next comes "Esteem"-- that is, self-confidence, respect, achievement. Only after we have gained all of these elements can we be free to seek happiness.

I have spoken before about my dysfunctional childhood. I would say to you that I sometimes went hungry; I was often cold; or too hot to sleep; I was scared and always on alert; I was not physically safe; my sleep was affected by my lack of safety; my chronic lung condition was neglected, so my breathing was affected; no one ever hugged me or told me that they loved me;  I had few friends; I felt worthless.  In short, I was miserable.

What does this mean for your life? For one, if you have all these things, food, ability to breathe, physical safety, health, family and friends, some measure of confidence--- then, you are rich indeed.

I was reminded of this recently when I received a prayer request for someone who is a double amputee. This person wanted only a surgical operation that would allow her to sit up in a wheelchair! This is where gratitude comes in! This was God's way of showing me that, despite my past hardships, despite how I struggle even today, I really have nothing to complain about. . . .


When I remember my prayers for this person. I am also able to pray for myself: Thank you, God for every breath, for my food, for my shelter, for my health etc.


Every day, I try to make it my purpose to care for those who have less, who have few or none of
Maslow's basic needs. This brings me back to Matthew 19: 16-21, where Jesus says, "Give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me".


I hear reports of the plight of the poor worldwide and I become sad, almost despondent. I read recently in the New York Times of the chronic food shortage in the country of Congo. In many families, the parents are forced to spread the limited food around on a rotation basis. Some days, some of the children eat, but some do not. And I think, what are we DOING about this? This is not happiness for these families. It is not happiness for me to witness this.


All of this brings me back to the Scripture for today: "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil. He must seek peace and pursue it."  Now, I see fully that happiness does not depend on my appearance (heavy or thin). Happiness does not depend on my becoming fabulously wealthy or famous. It does not depend upon owning bigger, better, more things than anyone else on the planet.


Happiness comes from seeking peace. It comes from speaking (and doing) good, especially for others.
It comes from turning away from evil. It comes from basic things like breathing, eating, feeling safe, feeling a sense of respect for self and others, and belonging to friends and family. It comes from helping others to achieve these as well.


Many of these elements of happiness are FREE! Freely received by us; freely given to others.  We do not have to be breathtakingly beautiful or extraordinarily wealthy in order to seek peace, help others, avoid evil, cultivate love, nurture gratitude, value our gifts, or show acceptance of others.

Jesus says, "Come follow me". I pray that in seeking peace, avoiding evil, giving to others, expressing gratitude and finding love, that I will see Jesus --and that I will love life and see good days!

(c) The Spiritual Devotional 2012. All Rights Reserved.